


From the Ashes

by katillac25



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Abbadon is queen of Hell, Advocate!Nikolaj, Harbinger!Crowley, Humiliation, M/M, Rape Aftermath, Torture, dubcon, slash fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-22 19:13:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4847075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katillac25/pseuds/katillac25
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU after 9X16 in which Abaddon captures Crowley and brings him back to Hell to teach him a lesson and offer him a new job while she reigns as queen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Queen

**Author's Note:**

> Abaddon's Hell is based on a hierarchy. Starting at the bottom: The Damned, Harbingers, Advocates, and Knights. The Damned are essentially those who are cursed to burn for eternity. Harbingers are low-level demons with no training and are paired with Advocates who are higher-level demons that teach them.
> 
> When paired, Harbingers and Advocates are bonded together by blood and the Harbinger must obey orders given by their Advocate.

Finally, the renovations were complete. Abaddon scrutinized the place as she walked down the rows of black and red-streaked marble columns, casually running her fingers over the side of one. The throne room was vast, dimly lit, but with enough light to cause parts of the glossy black tiles to shine. The throne was even sufficient, which was somewhat surprising considering the terrible work ethic in Hell these days--the demons had gotten lax with that glorified pencil pusher in charge. But all of that was about to change. Abaddon slowly made her way up the stairs to the dais where her throne sat, and looked critically at it for a long movement, taking in the smooth bone of the spikes at the top as they tapered down the side into blackened, jagged edges. The arms were dainty, tapering, and ended in wicked claws, screaming faces had been carved into the legs, and on the seat there was a plush, velvety cushion. The new ruler of Hell nodded, sat, surveyed the hall, then snapped for an attendant. A demon came scurrying in from one of the wings, and she gestured that her new prisoner was to be brought in, then leaned back and informed him that she required a footstool. As he scurried away, she leaned back in the throne and put her feet up just as a second demon dove underneath to prop them up. Smirking slightly, she settled in. Long live the Queen.

Crowley couldn't remember ever feeling this helpless. His heart was pounding out of control as he was being led in chains into Abaddon's throne room. Those idiots had to leave him alone just long enough so she could swoop in and take him prisoner. His mind was racing back and forth, contemplating all of the horrors she could unleash on him. How could she have won? How could it end like this? His breaths soon became shorter as the doors opened, and he saw her sitting upon the throne.

Abaddon raised one eyebrows as the former King of the Crossroads was led in. Somehow he seemed even shorter than she remembered. She adjusted her legs, one spiked heel digging into the ribs of her footstool. Crooking her finger to have him brought up to the steps of the dais, she smiled a little wider.

"Crowley. What a pleasure. Tell me, what is it like having all you ever built crumble around your ears?"

Crowley bit the inside of his cheek and stared at the floor, avoiding her unbearable smirk. Of course that cocky bitch was going to gloat in his face. He bit down harder, trying to keep himself from saying something he'd regret. He knew she would show him anything but mercy.

Frowning slightly, Abaddon kicked her footstool hard in the ribs, sending him rolling as she stood. Descending the stairs herself, she went up to Crowley, grabbing the metal collar around his neck and lifting him just off his feet.

"I believe I just asked you a question," she said, keeping her voice even.

Crowley grunted softly as the metal pressed uncomfortably against his neck.

"Well, if you're wanting my honest opinion. It could be worse. I could be one of the poor souls who had to decorate this abomination that you call a throne room."

Abaddon's mouth twisted slightly before she smiled again, her touch heating up the metal of the collar until she could smell burning flesh.

"Well then, you'll no doubt be pleased to know that instead of condemning you to eternal pain, I'm giving you a new job."

Crowley winced as the metal burned against him. He should've known he would have to pay for that comment. "That's quite magnanimous of you," he managed through gritted teeth.

"I thought you'd be of that opinion," she said, dropping him to the floor in a heap of rattling chains, then pressing one heeled boot into his chest. "What would you think of an exciting new opportunity in our Harbinger division?"

Crowley growled as the heel prodded at him and glared at her in utter shock. "You can't be serious. They're the runts of the litter. I wouldn't be caught dead amongst those vermin."

"Would you rather I throw you down with The Damned, then? I'm sure plenty of them would like to meet with you again." She gave one last dig of her heels before hauling him to his feet by the chains again. "But don't worry too much. I thought we could have some one-on-one time before your first day on the job."

Crowley steadied himself and shook his head. "No, I wouldn't. I'll take the damn job." The very act of answering her sickened him. He could feel her gaze burning into him, but he continued staring at the floor. There was nothing else he could do.

Gripping his hair in her free hand, she wrenched his head back. "Damn straight you will. Now, how about we get started?" She shoved him back into the hands of the other demons and strode off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The torture chamber was built on similar lines to the throne room, reaching back into history to invoke such classics as the Inquisition, but not so old-fashioned that the leather riding crop that Abaddon was testing out in her hands didn't fit it. The wood was dark, the leather was black, and all of instruments were aligned in a perfect row. Pliers, screws, whips, canes, and even a well-secured bottle of holy water were only some of the tools now at her disposal. Perfect.

Crowley felt that sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach as he was being hauled into the room, and the stench of blood filled his lungs. Abaddon pointed to a pair of shackles hanging from the ceiling. The demons unlocked the chains around his hands and cuffed him with the new restraints. They quickly shuffled out of the room, leaving him avoiding her gaze once again.

Abaddon tsk'd. "I'm disappointed, Crowley," she said, jerking hard on the chain and sending him up on his toes. "You're not even looking at me. Is it possible that you've begun to learn your place?"

A sharp gasp escaped him as he was roughly hoisted. He rolled his eyes at her and, against his better judgment, gave her a hard glare. "I'd rather have no place in your domain, whore."

She made no reply as she affixed the chain to a hook on the wall. "Ah, there's the smarmy paper-pusher I remember," she finally said as she walked over to the brazier and began meticulously choosing one of the red-hot pokers inside. Finally deciding on one, she turned. "It makes things more interesting like this, you see."

Crowley twisted frantically, trying hopelessly to move away from her. If only he could've just kept his mouth shut.

Starting a little to the side of his right hip, Abaddon started tracing the bright orange tip of the poker up towards his sternum. "You know, I think this will be a good learning experience for you." She ended the stroke, then started downward towards his left hip. "You see, Crowley, this is how a true ruler of Hell does things. Not with paperwork, not with waiting lines." After finishing the second line, she drew back with the poker and slammed it length-wise into his ribs, then slowly dragging the hot end so that it crossed over the first two lines, forming the rough approximation of an 'A.' "But with pain."

Crowley grunted and groaned furiously, refusing to give her the satisfaction of his screams. He could smell the burning fabric and flesh molding into one scent. He panted heavily as the poker was finally removed. That bitch had the audacity to brand him. If he was ever free from her reign, he would make her suffer the slowest, most excruciating death.  
"And," she continued, dropping the poker back into the brazier and picking up a large pair of scissors. "With humiliation. Can't forget that of course." Sliding the scissors into a loop in her belt, Abaddon moved in close to Crowley, removing his tie with a unusual amount of care before gripping the collar of his shirt and pulling hard, ripping fabric and sending buttons flying with one movement.

Crowley tried desperately to drown out her words. He flinched away from her as she attempted to undress him; the last thing he wanted was to be stripped in front of her. The scissors were coming dangerously close to his skin, and he released a quiet whimper as the cool metal came in contact with him.

She smirked a bit at his whimper. "Aw, you poor dear." Then, running her fingertips lightly over his chest, Abaddon paused right between his collarbones, then dug in, dragging her sharp nails down his torso and across the fresh burns.

"Stop!" Crowley cried. The pain surged through him making him shake violently. As the nails left, he exhaled and panted heavily. His head hung low as he tried to steady his frantic heartbeat.

For an instant, all of her good humor fled, and she was suddenly in his face, her nails digging into his scalp as she tugged at his hair. "You. Don't. Give. Me. Orders," she growled, before letting him go and pulling out the scissors. "It seems like you're still in need of a lesson," she said, experimentally opening and closing the blades.

Crowley shuddered as another whimper escaped him. He closed his eyes tightly as the blades moved towards him.

Moving behind him, Abaddon slowly pressed the scissors to the nape of Crowley's neck, reveling in the small bit of blood she'd drawn, before slicing down the back of his suit coat and button-up in one smooth motion.

Crowley bit back a groan as he felt the stinging sensation behind him. He shivered as his back was revealed. As everything around him grew silent, he felt panic rising inside him. He couldn't see her, and he had no idea what she was doing behind him.

Leaving his once fine clothes in rags, Abaddon moved back to the wall, taking her time selecting from the whips there. Taking one, she gave it an experimental snap before moving in close enough to rake Crowley's back with it, leaving a single, long welt.

Crowley's body tensed hard as he tried to hold on to whatever shred of dignity he had left. The sting didn't last, but the bitch's rage surely would.

Shaking her head in disappointment, Abaddon returned the whip to the stand and picked another. It was shorter, with three tails and strips and barbs of metal braided in. Yes, this might do a bit better. Again, she lashed out at his back, grinning as some of the barbs hooked into skin. After a long, agonizing moment, she jerked again, the whip ripping flesh as it went.

He couldn't hold back the scream that was ripped from him. This was too much. He wouldn't be able to take much more of this one. "Please," he muttered breathlessly, "Please, stop."

Casually holding the whip over one shoulder, Abaddon moved in front of Crowley, tripping his chin up. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Please..." He felt his throat tighten as he struggled to say it. "Please, stop."

She smiled. "It's a good start, dear, but you're not quite done. 'Please stop....who?"

He scowled at that one. "It's just never enough for you, is it?"

She lashed out with the whip again, this time catching him down his chest and across the burns again. "Now, now, it's rude to answer a question with a question. Didn't your mother ever teach you that?"

"Fuck!" The pain hit him so hard that his feet refused to support him, and the shackles now bit into his wrists as he hung. "Abaddon, please!"

"Close, but no dice," she rang her finger down the bloody gouges. "See, what you don't seem to realize, Crowley, is that you. Are. Mine," she said, poking him with every word. "And you need to remember that. So tell me." She swung the whip again, going horizontally over the vertical wounds. "'Please stop' who?" She grabbed him by the jaw and wrenched his head up. "Here's a hint: who owns you, Crowley?"

His screams were now flowing from him so easily. He wanted it to stop. He whimpered loudly as her hand wrapped around his jaw, and felt shame wash over him as tears were now running down his face. "You do."

"That's right. Now, if you want this to stop," she paused to dig her nails into his face just a bit, "then you're going to have to ask. Nicely."

His breath hitched as she dug her nails into his skin. "Please stop... my queen."

She smiled again then, slow and wicked. "That's a good pet. Now," she said, moving over to the chain and undoing it from the hook, sending him crashing to the floor. "We'll have to get you cleaned up for you new job." Looking at the two other demons she nodded, and they hurried to comply. "You know the rules, dear: play nice, don't fight with the other kids," she said with a wave of her hand as she swept out of the room.


	2. The Advocate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Nikolaj meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abaddon's version of Hell is the closest thing to college living, which in many opinions is absolute hell.

Nikolaj sat at his desk, still in something of a state of shock. Him? An advocate? Already? He shook his head. It didn't exactly make sense, but if there was one thing a person did not do under this new regime, it was ask too many questions. And really, there was nothing to complain about: the new apartment, the prestige. No downsides, really. Except for being assigned a harbinger. That was going to be awkward. He didn't feel quite ready for it honestly, but hopefully it would all go well.

Crowley sighed as he stood in front of the door. This was nothing short of humiliating, being forced to start at the bottom again. The once great king now nothing more than a pawn on someone else’s chessboard. He eyed the name on the door carefully. "Nikolaj," he said to himself, "What the hell kind of name is that?" He shuffled around outside, refusing to even touch the door.

Sighing heavily, Nikolaj stood and stretched. His new harbinger should have been here about an hour ago, and he was torn between being relieved at putting it off and mildly annoyed that he had to wait. Ah well. What he needed was a breath of fresh air. Making his way to the door, he opened it and started out, only to stop abruptly to avoid running into the person standing awkwardly in front of his door. "Um, hello?"

"Sorry about the wait, but I wasn't exactly in a hurry to get here," he grumbled stepping past him into the apartment.

The hell? Nikolaj sighed again, seriously considering going for that walk anyway. Of all of the harbingers in Hell, he had to get the grumpy one. Wasn't in a hurry to get here indeed. Bastard didn't even say 'hello.' But at least he'd apologized, so surely that meant something? He frowned, dubious, then took a deep breath and turned around. "Ah, you must be my new harbinger," he attempted, looking at the shuffling, suited figure in his living room.

"No, I'm the prostitute you called for. And since I am rather tardy, I'll make sure to give you a discount."

Nikolaj opened his mouth for a moment, shut it, then took another deep breath, flushing slightly. This wasn't at all how this sort of thing was supposed to work. "Listen, I don't know what the problem is here, but I can't change this situation, and neither can you, so we're both going to have to live with it."

Crowley sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. At least the advocate was far more sensible than other demons. "Fine," he huffed, "Name's Crowley."

The advocate nodded and put his hand out for a shake. "I'm Nikolaj. I know we've had a rough start, but I'm sure it'll all work out."

Crowley narrowed his eyes at the advocate and pointed at the door. "Why is there a 'J' in your name, Nikolaj?" he grinned, purposefully adding emphasis to the last letter.

Nikolaj narrowed his eyes back. "It's silent," he said, teeth gritted as he returned his hand to his side. Fucking asshole. First late, now making fun of his name? Was there a return policy in their contract?

"Ah, I see. So what are we to do now, Nikolaj? I don't suppose you have any scotch lying about?" Crowley could tell this first meeting was not at all going well. How was he suppose to save an ounce of sanity while being roomed with quite possibly the friendliest demon in all of Hell?

"Oh, um..." Nikolaj paused, thinking. "No, actually. I have a couple of beers in the fridge. Some nice craft stuff I picked up last time I was topside. And there might be a bottle of wine somewhere abouts." He smiled apologetically, secretly thinking that he might have to take up drinking something harder if he was going to put up with this prick.

Crowley rolled his eyes. "I suppose I set myself up for disappointment with that one. Look, I'm just going to get cleaned up for the business meeting we have soon." He hurried into the bathroom without giving the advocate a second glance. 

Nikolaj rubbed at his face, gritting his teeth again. Fresh air wasn't an option--he certainly wasn't going to leave this punk alone in his house--so he'd have to find some other way to wind down. It wouldn't do to be angry and keyed up during their bonding. He sat back down at his desk and put his headphones in, putting on something simultaneously loud and soothing. Running his hands through his hair, he took a few deep breaths and sat there for a long moment. Then standing and putting his MP3 player in his pocket he poked around the kitchen a bit before heading to the bathroom, the music playing in his ears deafening him to the sound of running water.

Crowley winced as he struggled to clean his wounds. He was seriously considering asking Death to just do him in. The humiliation of wearing her mark and being harbinger to that fluffy-headed idiot was enough to do him in.

Still not paying attention, the advocate opened the door to a face full of steam. Fuck. He re-actively jerked his head up to the realization that he'd just walked in on his harbinger in the shower. Of all the times to forget that he now had a roommate. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Crowley froze and slowly turned his head towards the advocate. Suddenly everything was becoming far worse than he could ever have imagined. He knew his wounds and every other inch of his body were in plain sight. "Get. Out." The low growl of a demand was all he could manage.

Nikolaj managed a small, quick, and utterly worthless "Sorry" and abruptly shut the door again. Tearing off his headphones, he went into his room and sat on the bed, head his hands. This whole first impression thing was quickly going to Hell--no pun intended. And what the hell had happened to Crowley that he was in such a state? Something fucked up was going on here, that was for sure.

Crowley leaned against the wall of the shower and felt tears streaming down his face. Now he would be bombarded with questions, and he would be forced to tell him everything--even if he didn't confess right away, the advocate could easily make him say anything after their bonding was complete. Death would be so much easier than this.

Some time later, taking a deep breath, he stepped out of the bathroom, fixing his tie. "Alright then, Nikolaj. Let's get this over with."

The other demon poked his head into the hallway and nodded. "Yeah, just a second." He glanced in the mirror, straightening his own tie and making sure that his hair was behaving. One final touch to his advocate's bracelet to make sure that it was still there and that yes, this was actually happening, he stepped back out into the hall, nodding to Crowley as he made for the door.


	3. The Bond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Nikolaj are bonded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The binding between harbinger and advocate involves an exchange of blood from both parties, and the advocate is given a bracelet that keeps them connected.

Crowley swiveled nervously in the office chair watching Nikolaj signing papers. One of the higher-level demons was pulling medical tools from his briefcase, including syringes. Crowley swung the chair away from them and closed his eyes, trying to rid himself of the image.

Nikolaj clicked the pen and sat it down, staring in slight disbelief at the papers. Standing up, he started, "So are we going to--" he was cut off as Abaddon herself suddenly swept into the room, followed by her usual retinue. Immediately, Nikolaj and the two senior demons overseeing the operation dropped to one knee, their eyes on the floor.

Crowley spun the chair around at the sound of silence, but immediately regretted the decision. He rolled his eyes at the sight of her and spun back around to continue his avoidance of everyone in the room.

Nikolaj glanced over in confusion at Crowley's behavior, then shut his eyes. The fuck was that idiot doing? And what if he was blamed for it? He chanced a glance as Abaddon strode forward and grabbed the back of the chair, spinning the new harbinger around. "Hello there, dear," she said, smiling.

"Hello. May I continue my sulking, please?"

She pursed her lips. "No, you may not. Now, are you going to show proper respect, or am I going to have to embarrass you in front of your new friend here? I'd hate for your relationship to get such a terrible start."

"I'm sorry to say, we've already had a terrifically terrible start. Not sure you could make things any worse than they currently are."

Her mouth quirked, "Aw, you poor dear." She ran a hand over his face, then leaned in and whispered into his ear, "I'm sure I could make things a great deal worse." Then she backed up and lifted him out of the chair by the shirt collar, dropping him into an unceremonious heap on the floor. "But for right now I'm here to oversee this little affair. Proceed," she said, waving the other demons to her feet.

Crowley backed himself against the wall the moment he was dropped. One of the demons approached him with the needle in hand. After his past ordeals, he was hoping he would never have to see another syringe again. Yet another demon grabbed him by the collar and threw him back into the chair.

Nikolaj bit his lip as he stood. He hated to see Crowley so obviously uncomfortable, but what could possibly be his problem with all of this? Being a harbinger wasn't always fun, but it was the main form of advancement in Hell. He didn't comment as some of the other demons held Crowley down and another advanced with the syringe, and instead focused on rolling up his sleeve.

Crowley glared angrily at the advocate. He struggled as the needle came ever so close to his skin and let out the softest sob possible as it finally pierced into him.

Nikolaj winced as his own blood was drawn and looked sideways over at Crowley as the syringes were swapped. Clinching his fist he readied himself for the injection. He flinched slightly as Abaddon leaned in close to him. "I'll warn you, dear, he's a bit of a problem child, but I have faith in you," she said, addressing Nikolaj but staring straight at Crowley. The advocate flushed and stammered, "Th-thank you, my queen."

Crowley stared her down, wanting nothing more than to tear her apart. He felt his other sleeve being rolled up, and the injection was being brought towards him. He tried desperately to escape the hands holding him down. A loud grunt escaped him as the needle pierced his other arm.

Nikolaj grit his teeth against the pain, going weak at the knees and trying desperately not to look like a fool in front of everyone. It felt like fire had entered into his veins, burning him up from the inside out. Looking down at his arm, he deliriously wondered for a moment why is wasn't charred as his vision blurred. He groped at the table, trying to steady himself as his stomach heaved and his head throbbed. What was happening? It hadn't been nearly as bad when he'd been bound to his own advocate.

Crowley dug his nails into the table as the blood burned inside of him. It was an annoyance at best, and he even let out a low chuckle as he watched the advocate suffer. The poor fool thought taking his blood would be easy. It was clearly evident that no one had bothered to tell him just whose blood he was accepting.

A bit of blood trickled from Nikolaj's nose, and he coughed, bringing his hand to his mouth in time, but saw still more blood as he drew it away. Hearing the chuckle, he clenched his jaw and forced himself to stand up straight and look at his superiors. One of them nodded. "Good. As promised, you'll both receive a 24 hour leave. Get cleaned up and leave as soon as you wish," she said, pointedly ignoring Nikolaj's bloodied and sweaty state.

He nodded vaguely, still trying to straighten his thoughts. "Right. Thank you." He nodded to the other demons, then gave a deep bow to Abaddon. "My queen." Starting for the door, he gestured over his shoulder to his harbinger. "Come on, Crowley." Seeing the stones on his advocate's bracelet light up, he flinched. Damn that thing, he'd gone and accidentally activated the compulsion. Tightening his hand into a fist, he quietly hoped that Crowley would want to leave as much as he did and come without a fuss. The last thing either of them needed right now was an altercation in front of the Queen of Hell.

Crowley jumped from the seat the moment he felt a short shock from his arm. He gave an annoyed glance at Nikolaj and quickly followed behind him.

"Sorry," Nikolaj muttered once they were safely out in the hall. "Didn't realize. Kind of new at this," he managed, his hands firmly on the handrail of the stairs as they started their descent.

"No need to apologize. Let's just get back to the apartment. I've had my fill of this day," he sighed. "Just watch what you say. I don't want to be like a dog dealing with an electric fence."

"Right." Nikolaj agreed, on all accounts. When they finally reached his apartment, he shakily opened the door and made for the bathroom. "Help yourself to whatever's in the kitchen," he muttered, closing the bathroom door behind him.

Crowley chuckled again at his advocate. He was obviously suffering from the blood intake. He couldn't fathom why he was so loyal to Abaddon when she clearly didn't care enough to warn him about the dangers of taking in the blood of a much more powerful demon. He sauntered through the kitchen, finding absolutely nothing of interest. Crowley found his way to the bedroom and fell backwards onto it. Maybe he could just lay down and forget about the world.

Turning on the water, Nikolaj removed his clothes as quickly as physically possible--which wasn't very quickly, since he felt like he'd run a mile while being beaten with sticks. Stepping into the hot water, he tried to distract himself with thoughts of what he would do when finally allowed to go topside, but all he really wanted was a long nap. Finally stepping out of the shower, he toweled off, then wrapped it around his waist and shuffled out of the bathroom and down the hall, rounding the corner of his bedroom to once again be reminded that he no longer lived alone. "Oh," he said simply, looking down at his towel and simultaneously realizing both that this could be extremely awkward, and that he was too tired to give a fuck. Screw it, he was going to sleep.


	4. The 24 Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Nikolaj venture topside.

Crowley shifted slightly against the heat behind him and sighed sleepily. It had been ages since he had slept this well or slept at all, for that matter. He slowly started waking from his sleepy state and felt a grip around his chest tighten. Crowley's eyes immediately shot open when he realized that the grip around him was an arm. "Bollocks," he grumbled. As he made an attempt to escape, the body behind him scooted closer until there was no space in between them. Crowley swore under his breath. Again, death would be so much easier.

Nikolaj stretched his shoulders as he slowly woke up. "Mmpf," he muttered, nuzzling into the warmth beside him, catching the scent of cologne. Wait--cologne? He lifted his head up slightly, confirming his fears before thumping his head back down the pillow. Fuck. Laying there for a moment, he considering moving his arm, wondering if Crowley was already awake or not, and wondering what the hell to do in either case. 

Crowley exhaled with relief. "I know you're awake. So, if you could, get off me."

"Oh. Um, sorry. Again." Nikolaj muttered, scooting away from Crowley and removing his arm. Also, the towel. He glanced down and saw that, in his sleep it had moved down to the bottom of the bed. Double fuck. 

Crowley glanced over and immediately regretted the decision. He jumped up from the bed and scurried out of the room as fast he could. He made his way to the living room and decided that the best course of action was falling face-first onto the couch. The image was officially burned into his memory, and nothing was going to make anything between the two of them less awkward. 

His face burning, Nikolaj hurriedly dressed, throwing on a white t shirt and a blue button-up. As he pulled on his jeans, he bit his lip, wondering what there was to say about all of this, finally deciding on following Crowley's lead of just ignoring the issue. Patting down a few stray hairs in the mirror, he slid down the hallway and tried to slip unobtrusively into the bathroom--double checking to make sure that it was empty first. Crowley listened to him shuffling about the apartment. Perhaps, once topside, he would fine somewhere that sold a decent scotch. But until then, he would continue to groan into the couch. Nikolaj finally opened the door, finally ready to face the day, if not his harbinger. Seeing Crowley on the couch, he raised an eyebrow. "I was going to ask if you're ready to head topside, but if you'd rather do....whatever it is that you're doing, I suppose that's fine, too." 

Crowley huffed and turned his head. "I'm more than ready to rid myself of the image you displayed for me," he said removing himself from the couch, "Let's get out of here." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Coalescing into a solid form, Nikolaj coughed as he looked around the alleyway they had chosen. For all of its seclusion, the place was filthy. He couldn't blame humans for not wanting to be here. Pausing while Crowley joined him, he turned to the other demon and asked, "So, where do you want to start?" 

Crowley raised an eyebrow at him and smirked. “Well aren't you a gentleman. A drink would be nice., considering the seriously lack of class and/or taste in your home." 

Nikolaj strode towards the end of the alleyway, set on being out of the foul-smelling place as quickly as possible. "Fair enough. Bar or liquor store?" 

"Really? Do you know nothing of the world?" The apparent confusion on the advocate's face was truly amusing. "We're going to a bar, and I happen to know a good one not too far from here." 

Frowning, Nikolaj looked curiously at Crowley, then just shook his head. "It seems pretty early in the day for that, but by all means, lead on." 

A few blocks and turns later, they arrived at an old, rustic pub. As they entered, they were greeted quickly. "Mr. Crowley! Haven't seen you in ages. How have you been, sir? Business still doing well?" Crowley hopped onto a barstool and waved Nikolaj over. "Unfortunately not. I was bought out. Not my idea of course. Been dealing with the aftermath. You know my poison, Mr. Jones. Anything for you, Nikolaj?" 

"I'll just take a jack and coke, thanks," Nikolaj answered, far more focused on taking in his surroundings--and Crowley's strange comments--to worry about anything more complicated. 

"So," Crowley began, turning towards Nikolaj, "what do you want to do? I suppose you're the one in charge now, and the one to make the decisions in this unfortunate relationship. I'm being allowed what I crave most, so what is it you crave?"

Nikolaj didn't answer for a long moment, sipping at his drink when it arrived. "You know," he started, "I'm not exactly sure. My advocate didn't bring me topside much. He wasn't an active agent or a crossroads demon and didn't figure that I would be either, so he didn't think there was much call. We just..stayed home mostly." More than willing to switch topics he said, "You seem more than familiar with the place. What's your suggestion?" 

"Well, there are quite a few of the best restaurants in the city within a short distance, plenty of shady nightclubs, a couple of decent gentlemen clubs, and some clubs of an even more sexual nature. But those are strictly up my alley. To me, you seem like someone who might enjoy the local museums, distilleries, and possibly a nice dance club. But the choice still lies with you." Crowley sipped the scotch in his hand and nodded happily. 

"Museum?" Nikolaj perked up a bit. "I mean, they all sound good, but I think I'd like to start there. How in the world did you learn all of this anyway?"

Crowley cleared his throat, trying desperately to find an answer that wasn't a complete lie. "I've had more experience than any harbinger, and probably most advocates. We'll leave it at that. So," Crowley began, laying money on the bar, "museums it is. What would appeal best to you. Any particular interests?”

Nikolaj shrugged. "Surprise me. You seem to be full enough of them," he said, standing.

"Well," he started as they headed for the door, "since you've been living under a rock for most of your demonic life, I know of a place that you might find engaging."

After a rather lengthy walk, they came upon an enormous building with a large grand fountain in front with exterior edges made of smooth white marble. 

"Here we are. I forgot how lovely this fountain is." 

Nikolaj stared for a long moment, mouth slightly agape. "You know," he said, managing to recover. "I think I know now why they don't let us come here very often." 

"Too much beauty for the damned to behold?" Crowley chuckled. 

"More like if we spend too long here we won't want to come back," the advocate said, then cringed when he realized the inherent insubordination in his comment. Damn if Crowley wasn't wearing off on him. 

"Far too much truth to that. Come on. Time for a history lesson." As he started walking towards the building, Crowley glanced back to see Nikolaj still staring in wonder at the fountain. "Oi, sunshine! You coming?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"That was amazing," Nikolaj enthused, holding his new Athenian owl plaque. It was just a souvenir shop trinket, but he rationalized that it would look good on the wall and his new place could use some extra decor. He chanced a look over at Crowley. Well, their new place, that is. 

"I'm glad you're easy to entertain. You're were like a little schoolboy in there. I don't know about you, but I'm feeling rather famished. I know a nice Italian place, if you're interested," he said catching the look Nikolaj gave him. 

Nikolaj nodded. "Sounds good. As long as it doesn't involve burgers, I'm on board." He shuddered a bit. "My advocate's meatsuit had been a big burger fan, and to shut him up we ate them every time we went topside." Scrunching his eyes shut, he grimaced. "Every. Single. Time. But yeah," the advocate said, looking back over at Crowley, "sounds like a good time." 

Crowley grinned widely and even felt a bit sorry for his advocate. "No burgers, just for you," he said giving Nikolaj a wink, chuckling as the other demon's face grew red again.

Nikolaj sniffed the air approvingly as they were seated at their table. "I have to say, the way you conned the hostess was pretty impressive," he said, helping himself to a breadstick. "Sucks for whoever's reservation this was, though," he considered through a partial mouthful of bread. 

"I can be very persuasive," he said before taking a sip of his wine, "It's best to keep that in mind, if you're in a tricky situation." 

"That I should be persuasive, or that I should be glad that I have you to be persuasive for me?" Nikolaj teased, taking up another breadstick. "Damn but these things are good!" he remarked. "Crispy and garlicy and...mmm. Either but mostly the second." 

Crowley's eyes widened as Nikolaj tore into yet another breadstick. "If you don't stop eating the bread, you won't have an appetite when the entree arrives. That, and you might give yourself a stomachache." 

The advocate looked sadly down at the breadstick. "It's an a insidious plot," he grumbled. "Also human food capacity is far too limited for all the tasty things in the world." 

"True as that may be, watch the intake." As the entrees arrived, Crowley smiled widely at Nikolaj's excitement. He looked like a kid on Christmas Day. "I promise you, sunshine, that steak isn't the holy grail. But by the way you're looking at it, I may just have been proven wrong."  
Nikolaj shook his head as he chewed. "Screw the holy grail. Steak is far more practical." Risking a glance down at his watch he frowned. Their time was going by much faster than he'd thought.

Crowley sighed as he too realized just how much time was left. "Just try enjoy what's left, sunshine. At least you still have things to look forward to when we return." 

Nikolaj looked awkwardly down at his plate. "I...suppose, yes." He put down his fork and forced himself to look at the demon opposite him. "Look Crowley, I don't know what the hell's going on with you, and frankly I'm not sure that I want to, but I do want to make this as easy as possible. So if there's anything I can do, tell me?" 

Crowley's mood shifted in an instant. "I appreciate the consideration, but there is nothing you can do. You don't understand what has happened, and you know nothing of what is going on now. It's best to just get through your training as an advocate and then forget any of this ever happened." He threw the money on the table and left the advocate sitting by himself. 

Nikolaj growled deep in his throat, running his fingers through his hair. Why him? Why, out of all of the demons in Hell was it his job to "train" this moody little asshole? Just when they were connecting, actually enjoying each other's company for once, this had to happen. Well fuck it. He wasn't done eating and Crowley couldn't go back to Hell without him. Not that he'd want to go back anyhow, but that could hardly be helped. With a huff, the advocate stolidly began finishing his steak. At least one part of this evening was not going to be ruined by Crowley's angst.

Crowley inhaled deeply as the cold wind hit his face. The day had been perfectly enjoyable until the idiot advocate had to get sentimental with him. Why did he care anyway? Demons shouldn't be compassionate or kind. The idiot should've been an angel instead. He walked down the sidewalk trying to clear his mind. Why couldn't he just leave things alone?

After running an errand or two, Nikolaj focused on the bond between the two of them and started tracking Crowley down. The night was getting chilly and he gritted his teeth against using the bracelet's power as he felt his human body react to the cold. Next time he'd plan better for the weather.

Crowley felt an annoying twinge in his arm. "Prick's looking for me," he muttered under his breath. He leaned against the building behind and crossed his arms. He'd wait for the advocate to find him. No way in hell would he willingly go back to him.

Finally, he was close, he could feel it. Rounding the corner of a building, he spotted Crowley. He nearly asked him if he was ready to go, but thought better of it. "Time's up, I'm afraid," he said, shivering. 

"Right. No use trying to defy the inevitable. Let's go."


	5. The Test

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nikolaj proves his loyalty, Crowley has a nightmare, and the boys share a drink.

There it was, the smell of sulfur filling his lungs again. Crowley glanced around the small apartment. At least he had one full day to savor all of the splendors of the world above. Now he had to live with being an advocate's lapdog. It could be worse though. He could have to deal with Abaddon. 

Upon returning, Nikolaj made for the kitchen, and sat down his shopping bag. Just as he turned to comment, though, there was a knock at the door. He shot Crowley a confused look, shrugged, and then opened the door to see one of Abaddon's retinue from the previous day. "The queen has summoned you," she said simply.

The pair entered the throne room, and Crowley was pleasantly surprised to see an empty throne. "This hideous room again," Crowley murmured. He rolled his eyes at the disapproving glare from Nikolaj. "What's the point of summoning someone if you don't have the decency to show up?" 

"Queen's prerogative, darling," came Abaddon's voice from behind him. Nikolaj willed himself not to turn around as he heard the clicking of her heels and instead went to one knee. 

"Now, now," Abaddon said as she passed by him. Pausing, she tipped his chin up. "You're responsible for his obedience now, too," she said, nodding at the still-standing Crowley. 

Crowley narrowed his eyes at her, giving her a wide smirk. "Nothing more than a dog now, eh?" 

She looked at him, smiling, "I don't think you ever were, dear. Now," she said, looking back at Nikolaj, "have him kneel for me." The advocate looked over at his harbinger. "Crowley..." he started, pausing for a moment. Just for once, couldn't he be easy to get along with. Just once? 

"Don't you dare say it," Crowley growled, his eyes firmly locked on the so-called queen.

"Nikolaj," Abaddon said, gripping his jaw a bit harder until he returned his gaze to her, "you wouldn't disobey me in this, would you?" 

"N-no," he stammered, flushing slightly. Something panged in his chest, but how could he focus on that with her eyes boring into his, with his head reeling like this? He still couldn't believe that he was here, in front of the queen, that she was noticing him. And if he was feeling conflicted, surely she knew best? "Kneel to the queen, Crowley," he said, feeling the power of the bracelet flare. 

Crowley slammed his eyes shut. He could feel flames surging throughout his body. His breaths became shaky as the pain slowly built. "Nikolaj," he whispered, "don't make me do this. Not this." 

Nikolaj trembled slightly, caught between the evident pain in Crowley's voice and Abaddon's intense eyes staring into his. The Queen of Hell smiled, listening to Crowley's struggles. "Disobedience must be punished, don't you think, Nikolaj?" He nodded dumbly, feeling like a mouse caught in the gaze of a snake as the bracelet's power flared again, increasing the strain it was putting on the harbinger. 

Crowley's knees shook violently as the pain doubled. He wanted to drop to the ground just to make it all stop, but his pride was refusing. He scowled as she watched him, wearing an insufferable grin. Crowley groaned loudly as his knees finally gave out on him. He landed hard on his knees, and the pain immediately subsided.

Abaddon smiled over at Crowley. "So nice to know that at least one of you knows his place. You could learn something from this one, Crowley. He's got potential." 

"Is that what you call it?" Crowley laughed. "And here I thought he was just your subservient little bitch. Is that how you like them, Abaddon? Whipped and submissive?"

Nikolaj growled, and as he turned to glare at Crowley his eyes went black. "Shut up!" he snarled, and before he realized it, he'd backhanded the other demon, sending him sprawling. His head throbbed, and the world seemed to pulse in time with it. "I am not whipped," he hissed, starting to stand, "I am loyal, and there is nothing shameful in obeying my queen." 

Crowley had to give credit where it was due. The advocate did in fact have a spine, though the ringing in his ears and the sting still left him in s state of shock. After what felt like an eternity of being frozen, he finally picked himself up and avoided either of their gazes. 

Abaddon laughed. Not a chuckle, but a full on laugh. "No Crowley," she said with a smile. "That is how I like them." She put her hand to the side of Nikolaj's flushed face. "You do have potential. I like that. Keep it up." Then she walked to her throne, waving a hand over her shoulder. "Dismissed, boys. For now, at least."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the two arrived back at the apartment in stony silence, Nikolaj retreated to the bathroom, trying to clear his head. What the hell had happened back there? On one hand, part of him was elated--the Queen of Hell herself thought that he had potential. But for what? He shook his head. After a few moments of skulking, he re-entered the living room, risking a glance over at Crowley.

Crowley sat on the edge of the couch and stared blankly at the floor. It suddenly felt like everything was over. He expected constant reminders from Abaddon of how insignificant his existence was, but he never expected it from Nikolaj. He could feel the advocate looking at him but felt too weak to even care. Why should he anyway?

"Crowley, I--" Nikolaj hesitated. Was he sorry? Abaddon had ordered it, and why would he deny her? He flushed, remembering the harbinger's comment. He wasn't just some whipped submissive. But had his reaction really been called for? "I just wanted to--" he faltered again. 

"Don't waste your breath attempting to finish that sentence," he snapped, "Nothing you say will change what you did, and I really don’t care what you have to say."

"Why the hell couldn't you have just done it in the first place?" Nikolaj exploded, stepping forward. "Then I wouldn't have had to do anything. But no, you have to make everything difficult!” 

"You don't know anything!" Crowley roared, now standing in front of Nikolaj. "Do you really believe that she sees potential in you? That she's proud of you? You are worthless to her. She is a lying, manipulative, little whore. You think you're so special because you're an advocate and you get to hide behind that pretty bracelet? You are quite possibly the worst advocate in existence, and I will not be made a slave to you or that ginger cunt!" 

"And did you really think that there was any fucking alternative?" Nikolaj could feel the heat rising in his face as his mind swirled with turmoil. "She is the queen of Hell, Crowley, saying 'no' is not an option. Who the fuck do you think you are that for you I'd stare down Abaddon herself and say 'Nope, sorry your majesty, I think I'm going to side with this other person, who is not only powerless before you, but has apparently pissed you off repeatedly'. I did what I was told, nothing more. I didn't fucking ask for this job, and I certainly did not fucking ask to be saddled with your sorry ass!" he snarled, his chest heaving and his head pounding again. 

Crowley closed his eyes and let it all sink in. "I guess I'm no one, and that's the way she commands it. I had no choice but to be a harbinger. I didn't want this!" Crowley tightened his fists, fighting back tears that desperately wanted to escape. "I would've chosen death over this, but apparently that would be just too charitable of a fate. Just keep being her errand boy. It's what she wants anyway, and you seem only too good at pleasing her." He slowly backed away from the advocate and entered the bathroom, locking it behind him.

Nikolaj curled his hands into fists. Of all the... He took a deep breath, then sat down on the couch and grabbed up a pillow, burying his face in it, but it smelled vaguely of Crowley's cologne and he tossed it to the side. Why did this all have to be so complicated? 

Crowley backed against the wall and slowly slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. He couldn't hold back anymore; the tears streamed down his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After spending awhile grumbling to himself, Nikolaj stood, grabbed the pillow back and made for the bathroom door. Sitting down by the door, he hugged the pillow to his chest and rested his chin on top. Glancing at the light coming from under the door, he saw Crowley's shadow. "Hey," he attempted softly. 

Crowley leaned his head back against the wall sighing. How much persistence did this guy have? He wanted so badly to throw an insult, a quip, anything that was considered unpleasant, but he couldn’t muster the energy to even try. He finally gave in. "Hey." 

"So," he started, "I was something of an ass back there." Okay, maybe that was an understatement, but baby steps. 

"I don't mean to make your life difficult, Nikolaj. I'm just not anywhere close to where I want to be." For once in his life, Crowley felt like he was being honest. "And I'll let you in on a little secret. No one wants to deal with me. I am best either alone or nonexistent." 

Nikolaj gave a shaky chuckle that was part laugh and a bit sob. "Well, as evidenced by the fact that you've locked yourself in my bathroom, not dealing with you isn't really an option." His voice quavered a bit as he hugged the pillow a bit tighter. "So maybe we can figure out how to manage?" 

"I do believe this would be considered our bathroom," he said, letting out a rather long sigh. "Move away from the door." 

Nikolaj stood and moved over to sit on the arm of the couch, putting the pillow down with a bit of reluctance. 

The door opened slowly, and Crowley made his way to the couch. He fell back onto it and nervously glanced at the advocate.

The other demon nodded to the counter. "Scotch is the the bag, by the way." 

"You-" Crowley was speechless. This was quite possibly the kindest thing anyone had ever done for him. "Thank you," he managed. 

Nikolaj shrugged. "Figured you'd be easier to deal with if you were boozed up," he teased, glancing over at Crowley. 

"Yeah. You may be right," he chuckled, giving him a wide grin. 

"Also I picked up some of that wine that we had at that Italian place. Hell, at this rate I'm going to have to figure out how to cook." He looked down at himself. "I don't think this meatsuit was very good at that sort of thing, but it's worth a shot." 

Crowley hesitated for moment. "I... could teach you. I know a thing or two about the culinary arts. Besides, the vessel may be useless, but the demon underneath is not." 

Nikolaj grinned slightly. "Yeah? I think I'd like that." He paused looking first at the kitchen and then back at the other demon. "So...now what?" 

"Do what you like. I'm turning in for the night." Crowley turned to walk into the bedroom and stopped suddenly. He turned back glancing back and forth between the bed and the advocate. "How is this going to work?" 

Nikolaj had to concentrate to not make a sarcastic remark, instead opting for, "What would make your more comfortable?" 

"Well the last time I decided to sleep in that particular bed, it resulted in me being spooned. As long as you keep your cuddling to yourself, we should be fine." 

"I'll...try?" Nikolaj offered. "I mean I wasn't exactly trying to spoon you the first time." He paused. "I'll definitely be wearing pants this time, though. Promise." 

"Much appreciated, sunshine. No need to flash me again." Crowley headed to the bedroom and removed his suit jacket. He glanced around the room and suddenly realized he had no clothes available. "And of course I get dropped off like a stray without a thing to my name," he grumbled. 

"I have a spare set of sleep pants and some t-shirts if you want to borrow them until we can get you something else," Nikolaj offered, making for the bathroom. 

"Just the pants then. Your shirts are made for a, well, more muscular physique. I'll just keep my shirt on." 

He shrugged. "Fair enough. The pants are in the third drawer down. I think I'm going to stay up a bit, so make yourself at home." 

"Right." Once in more comfortable clothes, Crowley crawled into the bed and quickly drifted off to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nikolaj sat on the couch, doggedly trying to read a novel, but the day's events kept springing to mind. Finally he shut the book with a snap and sat there for a long moment,. Then, in the silence he thought he heard something coming from the bedroom. Frowning, he stood.

Shadows surrounded him, taunted him. He could hear familiar voices. The words were screaming in his head, and he begged them to go away. He begged them to stop. He could see them all so clearly, and their words suffocated him. "I just want to be loved!" He screamed at them.

Crowley thrashed violently in his tormented state of sleep, and a cold sweat covered his face. Everything he tried to block out came crashing through. The constant reminder of what he was haunted him, even in his sleep.

Hearing the yells, Nikolaj hurried in, kneeling beside the bed and trying to calm the other demon's thrashing. "Crowley? Crowley!" he called. 

Crowley suddenly sat up gasping for air. He eyes darted around the darkness of the room frantically. Nothing made sense until he saw the figure next to him. "Nikolaj?" 

Nikolaj smiled tentatively. "Yeah, I'm here. Bad dreams?" he asked, internally wincing afterwards at the obviousness of the question. 

"Yeah," he exhaled, too exhausted to say anything resembling snark. Crowley buried his face in his hands and groaned. 

Nikolaj found himself with his hand on Crowley's shoulder, then quickly snatched it away. "Do you need anything? A drink or something?" 

"A drink would be best, I think. Thank you." Crowley gave him a faint grin. 

The advocate nodded and stood to head in to the kitchen. "Neat, or on the rocks?" 

"Neat, please," he said entering the room. Crowley ran his hand through his hair as he sat on the couch. "I think after that one, I would prefer never to sleep again." 

Nikolaj shrugged as he unscrewed the bottle. "I've seen demons who don't. I mean, I think it would be pretty boring, not to mention hard on your meat suit." 

"I never sleep, but these past few days have been more than enough to put even me out." 

Pouring the drink, Nikolaj made his way over to the couch. "Then we're going to have to find you some books or something, because I like my sleep." 

Crowley rolled his eyes. "You can keep your sleep to yourself." 

"I will, thank you," Nikolaj huffed, sitting down and handing over the drink. 

Crowley flashed him a smile as he grabbed the drink. "I'm sure you could think of something creative for me to do," he said, taking a sip. 

Nikolaj blushed crimson, then looked away. "Psh, yeah. Like the laundry, maybe," he retorted half-heartedly. 

"Oh what am I now, the maid? Don't think for a second that you're going to put a dress and apron on me," he laughed. 

The advocate glanced back, pointedly eyeing Crowley over. "Nah," he declared flippantly, "I don't think you'd have the legs for it." 

"How dare you! I happen to have fantastic legs, thank you very much." 

"So are you saying that I -should- have you wear a dress? I feel like I'm getting mixed signals here." 

"Absolutely not. I'm simply stating that I do have the legs for a dress." Crowley shook his head, laughing. "How the hell did this conversation take such a turn?" 

"I have no idea, but I feel like if it keeps going like this, I'm going to have to start drinking, too." 

"Well," he said heading towards the kitchen, "it's not the worst possible idea." Crowley grabbed the bottle, a second glass, and sat back down. 

"So are we drinking to anything or just in general?" Nikolaj asked, accepting the glass tentatively. 

"I suppose we could drink to our extremely mismatched partnership," he said filling both of the glasses. 

"Sounds good to me," Nikolaj agreed, clinking glasses with the other demon and taking a sip of the scotch. Unprepared for the strong taste, he sputtered, coughing. "Damn," he managed. 

"Poor lightweight. Little bit too much for you?" he chuckled. 

Catching his breath, Nikolaj nodded. "Something like that. My advocate didn't--well, it's just not what I'm used to." After several more toasts, Nikolaj stumbled into bed, vaguely aware of the fact that Crowley was behind him. Without even a cursory attempt to undress, he flopped on the bed, asleep almost as soon as his head touched the pillow. 

Crowley crashed next to him with a smile on his face. Nikolaj really was a lightweight, but Crowley wouldn't hold it against him. The evening had progressively improved thanks to him. Maybe having a friend wouldn't be so bad.


	6. The Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are sent on their very first mission to recover a rogue angel.

The alarm clock went off all too early, and Nikolaj jerked awake. His vision swam, his head pounded, and there was a smear of drool down one cheek. He groaned and flailed slightly in the direction of the alarm, scrunching his eyes shut as his head throbbed in time with the noise. 

"Hey!" Crowley shouted when he felt an arm hit him in the face. His head was hurting enough without an unnecessary attack.

Nikolaj winced as Crowley's yell caused his head to throb even more, but managed to shut off the alarm and then pull his pillow over his head. 

"You are quite possibly the worst sleeping companion," Crowley groaned, rolling out of the bed. 

"At least I don't snore," Nikolaj grumbled. "But damn does my head hurt." 

"Such a lightweight. Have you never had a hangover?" 

"No, and after this one I think I never want to see booze again," Nikolaj vowed, hauling himself out of bed. He stopped short, thought, and groaned again. "And we're going to have to go before the queen again this morning to get our assignment. Great." 

"Fucking fantastic way to start the day. Is there no way of getting me out of that meeting?" he whined. 

"Trust me, I wish there was. For both of our sakes," Nikolaj said with an apologetic shrug as he picked out the day's clothes. 

"Wonderful. Can my life get any fucking worse?" Crowley mumbled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nikolaj didn't have many opinions about Abaddon's throne room, but right now he was mostly glad that it was dim. He'd managed to get his headache down to a dull roar, but the hangover still pounded in his temples and churned in his stomach. He swallowed hard, trying to keep his composure as Abaddon stepped off of her throne, a white envelope in hand. 

For once in his life, Crowley decided that being less provoking would be far more efficient for not only Nikolaj but his splitting headache. So he proceeded to avoid her altogether and glance about the room.

"I've got an extra special job for you boys," Abaddon said, waving the envelope. Looking at the two of them she said, "What are your feelings on wrangling angels?" Nikolaj blanched but said nothing. 

"Nothing we can't handle. I've experience with angels. We can do it, right Nikolaj?" The advocate wordlessly nodded, not wanting to betray the constriction in his throat. 

"I thought as much," Abaddon said, a smile creeping onto her face. "And of course the great risk should be answered with a great reward. Now what have you to say in response to such a choice assignment?" 

Crowley grinned widely, letting out a small chuckle. "We do thank you so much for this most gracious offer. I'm sure it will be such a good learning experience for the both os us. Do you need anything else before we depart, mum?" 

From nowhere it seemed, a riding crop appeared in Abaddon's hand, pressing right under Crowley's chin. "You're doing so well. What was that last bit, though? I don't think I quite heard you." 

Crowley closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He faintly smiled at the thought of Nikolaj silently praying that he wouldn't misbehave today. "Do you need anything else before we depart, my queen?" He opened his eyes as he heard Nikolaj give a sigh of relief. 

"No, I think that will be all," she said, handing Nikolaj the letter. "And have fun, boys," she said, waving them off. 

As soon as they were out of the throne room and out of sight of any guards, Nikolaj enveloped Crowley in a brief, but bone-crushing hug. "Thank you," he said simply, before letting go and straightening his tie. "Right," he said, pointedly not making eye contact as he opened the envelope. 

Crowley was caught so off guard by the embrace that when it was over, he couldn't think of anything to say other than, "Wow." 

Nikolaj blushed as he removed the paper, not quite managing to read the print in his distraction. "What? It was a hug, not a handjob. Not a big deal," he muttered sulkily. 

"Makes you that happy to know I can be a good boy, eh?" Crowley smiled widely at Nikolaj's constant blushing. 

"You have no idea," the advocate muttered. "But seriously, we're going to have to focus here if we're going to go after an angel. I mean clearly you've got the whole 'powerful, experienced demon' thing going on, but I don't, and I really don't want to be exorcised. I hear it hurts. A lot. And I hurt enough right now, thank you." 

"It's certainly not the most pleasant experience, but it also depends on which particular angel we're apprehending. Some aren't as powerful as others." "

Huh, it looks like our mark, Ramel, is in the middle of fucking nowhere Nebraska. In spite of this, however, he's managed to snoop too much into Hell's affairs in the area. I guess picking him up will be like two birds with one stone," Nikolaj mused. 

"Sounds like an easy enough job. He'll most likely be expecting unfriendly company, so be on your guard. Let's go."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At first Nikolaj stubbornly ignored his surroundings in favor staring down and his shoes and muttering, "I am so not qualified to be here." However, after a moment he caught a whiff of something familiar and looked up, scowling at the burger joint in front of him. "If he led us here, this guy clearly sucks. We should kick his ass." Nikolaj really hadn't been kidding when he said the middle of nowhere. It was an old sixties-style diner on the side of a highway with nothing else in sight. 

"Remote location. Not a smart idea." 

"That or he knows that we're coming for him and he's trying to limit human casualties," Nikolaj offered. "If angels actually care about something like that." He paused, eyeing the building. "Should we split up?" 

"Good enough plan for me. I'll take the back, and you go in the front. You're not known by any angels, so just act natural and do not draw attention to yourself if there are people in there." 

Nikolaj nodded hesitantly and headed into the diner. Wincing slightly as the bell above the door signaled his entrance, he made for a booth close to the door. 

Crowley found the back entrance to the diner and quietly entered. He found himself in a small hallway behind the kitchen and slowly made his way through. "Crowley." He froze instantly.

Tapping his fingers nervously on the table, Nikolaj ordered a coffee, black, from the waitress and tried to eye the other patrons. His stomach continued to complain, this time against the nauseating, greasy smell of cooking hamburger. He shook his head and tried to concentrate. How in the world were you supposed to tell which of them had an angel in their head? Did they glow? Make strange faces? Speak in Bible verses? 

"Excuse me?" Why had he ever thought trying to play dumb with angel was a good idea? 

"You think you can fool me? I know exactly who you are, demon." 

"Well, we shouldn't waste any time then. Care to take this in the kitchen?" Crowley hinted to the door next to him, grinning as the man followed him in. 

There was a man all the way on the other side of the diner, staring at him, but Nikolaj couldn't figure out why. Did he have something on his face? Did the man find him attractive? Was he actually the goddamn angel? 

Just as Crowley thought he had the upper hand, the man grabbed him by the collar and threw him over the countertop. The utensils and cookware flew to the ground, creating a cacophony of sounds.

As engaged as he was in a staring contest with this man, it took Nikolaj a second to realize that the crash had come from inside the kitchen. "Shit!" he swore, pushing past the waitress and making for the kitchen. 

Crowley hit the floor hard and struggled to catch his breath. The man leaped over the counter and grabbed him by the tie, pulling back with as much force as possible. Crowley was lifted to his feet, the air was fleeing from his lungs. This had gone on long enough. The blade slipped into his hand. 

Closely followed by the waitress, Nikolaj burst in through the swinging kitchen door. He paused, trying to figure out how best to help when he caught sight of the angel blade in Crowley's hand. The waitress was insisting something, tugging on his sleeve. Still surprised by the scene, he waved behind him, sending her flying backwards with his telekinesis. 

Before Crowley could swipe behind him, the man sunk his own blade deep into Crowley's shoulder. He fell forward onto his knees clutching at his shoulder and finally caught sight of Nikolaj. 

His breath catching in his throat, Nikolaj started forward about the time that the second server brought a scalding pot of coffee crashing down on his head. Ignoring it, the advocate growled as his eyes went black and he threw himself at the angel. 

Crowley hit the floor to avoid either of them and pulled the blade out of his shoulder. The angel met him head on and the two crashed across the counter, scattering spatulas and cooking knives alike as each tried to throttle the other. 

"Nikolaj!" The advocate lifted his head up at Crowley. "Catch." He tossed the blade towards him. 

Catching it, Nikolaj looked down just as the angel attempted to grapple him for it. Damn but this bastard was strong! He dodged just as the blade was forced within inches of his face. "Little help here," he grunted.

Crowley winced as he slowly brought himself to his feet. A quick swipe across the angel's arm, and the blade fell back into Crowley's hand. "How about I just hand it to you?" 

Taking advantage of the angel's distraction, Nikolaj slammed his forehead into the other man's nose. There was a crunch, a yelp, and a spray of blood. "Less snark, more stabbing," Nikolaj retorted. 

"Right." Crowley stabbed the blade through the man's arm, and he screamed wildly. "See? Doesn't feel very nice does it?" 

"If I'm what you're here for, why don't you finish me and go back to Hell, demon king?" Ramel snarled, continuing to wrestle with the advocate. 

Nikolaj stopped, looking from the angel to Crowley. "The fuck is he talking about?" Ramel's elbow cracked into his own nose. "God fucking damnit," he fumed, taking one hand off of his adversary to stanch the blood about the time that the angel rolled the both of them over the side of the counter, quickly followed by Nikolaj's undignified squawk as they hit the ground a moment later. 

Crowley gave an annoyed sigh and hoisted him up by his collar, pressing the blade against his throat. "Now if you don't settle down, we can easily take that grace of yours away. Or even better, we could just end you right now. Your choice." 

Nikolaj, who had ended up on bottom, gave a muttered, "I vote number two," from where he had until recently been squashed under the angel's shoulder. Ramel's eyes darted from the angel blade to Crowley. 

"If you're giving me a choice then you must want me alive. What's your game, demon? What brings the King of Hell himself out here?" 

"That," he growled, tightening his grip on him, "is none of your business. Just be a good boy and come with us." 

There was a crash of glass as the front door crashed open. Nikolaj scrunched his eyes shut as a high-pitched whine reached his ears. "Crowley, we have to leave," he said, wrapping his arms around the angel. 

"Don't even bother, wretches," Ramel snarled, trying to wrest himself free. "My brothers will destroy you!" 

Crowley snapped his fingers, and the throne room was suddenly surrounding them once again. Abaddon sat on the throne and gave a pleased grin.

"Goodness, boys. It looks like this one gave you some trouble." She chuckled as some well-built demons hauled the angel off of Nikolaj. "But good work nonetheless. You can have a break for a few days while we find out a few things from flyboy here." 

Ramel glanced about desperately, equal parts confused, scared, and angry. Nikolaj looked away, frustrated at himself that he couldn't quiet manage to meet the angel's eye. "Thank you, my queen," he managed through his broken nose, picking himself up off the floor. 

Crowley gave her a quick nod and followed behind Nikolaj as he left the throne room. "Well," he started, giving a sigh of relief, "that wasn't so bad." 

Nikolaj gave him a sideways look as he dabbed at his still bleeding nose with a sleeve. "We are, in fact, still alive, if that's what you mean," he half said, half mumbled. 

"Indeed we are. Not bad for your first time wrangling an angel. It's never easy, but it 's not impossible. Just be glad you had me there." 

"Admittedly," Nikolaj said, pausing to wrench his nose back into place with a crack and a wince, "most demons don't go in with an angel blade," he finished dryly. 

"Oh, that...” he replied nervously. “Something I nicked off an angel ages ago. It can come in handy at the best and worst of times." 

"So I saw. I also see that being able to take a hit from one comes in handy too." 

"Yeah. I suppose it does," Crowley said, giving a small grin and quickly avoiding his eyes. 

Nikolaj was silent as they made their way back to the apartment. "Crowley," he said, tone serious as the door swung shut behind them. "I think there are some things here that I should be aware of." 

"I'm not sure what you're referring to. We're harbinger and advocate, we unfortunately work for Abaddon, and there really isn't anything else to be aware of." 

"Dammit, Crowley," Nikolaj said, gritting his teeth. "You were stabbed with an angel blade and didn't die, random angels call you the King of Hell, and you're harboring illegal weaponry in my house. There's plenty I need to know." 

"Well, there seems to be nothing to be made aware of since you are already aware of those facts. Case closed. You are now fully aware."

"Your fucking secrets are going to get us killed," Nikolaj ground out. He could feel the power of the bracelet there, pulsing, daring him to use it as the beginnings of another headache came on. No. The advocate paused, took a deep breath. "So please, I think I deserve to know. I'm as stuck with all of this as you are," he continued, forcing his voice to stay level. 

"Look," Crowley sighed, not knowing at all how to go about telling him, "I swear to you that I will tell you everything. I just can't deal with it right now. I wouldn't even know where to start. I'd need a clear head for that conversation." 

Nikolaj paused for a moment, then nodded. With a sigh of his own, he started for the kitchen, then stopped. "You know, I think if we stay here I'm going to end up drinking again, and that's hardly the way to a clear head. Do you want to go out for a bit? Pick you up another set of clothes or something?" 

"That would be in my best interest, considering your clothes aren't exactly the most comfortable." 

Nikolaj raised a slightly incredulous eyebrow, but didn't comment. "I'm going to clean my face off. We should probably look into your knife wound, too." 

"I'll be fine. Just a scratch," Crowley said tersely. “No need for sentimentality.”

The advocate rolled his eyes and headed into the bathroom.


	7. The Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley meets Nikolaj's former advocate, the boys do a bit of shopping, and finally accept what they have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The DMV was a hilarious idea conjured up by my co-author, and I thought it was too good not to use. And if anyone is confused, it's where demons fill out forms in order to go topside.
> 
> Also, warning for smutty happenings near the end of this chapter!

If anywhere there was a remnant of Hell's former depressing office setting decor, it was surely here. The DMV (Demonic Mobility Verification) Center boasted a variety of features, including worn, grey tile floors, peeling, formerly floral wallpaper, and some uninspiring still lives of impressively dull fruit. Several rows of incredibly uncomfortable chairs were occupied by demons of all sorts, most filling out ungodly amounts of forms. "Ah," Nikolaj muttered as he opened the door. "I'd forgotten how shitty it is in here. Who designed this place anyhow?" 

"Certainly not me." Crowley faked a smile and closed his eyes. The was unraveling faster than he had hoped. 

Scanning the crowd for a good set of seats, the advocate's eyes suddenly widened. "Other side," he managed in a croak. 

"There are open seats over here," Crowley said, pointing to the side they were on. 

"I don't care, I--" 

"Nikki!" came a voice. A dark-haired man was waving at them as he stood from his uncomfortable chair. "I was just thinking about you. Filling out paperwork for your replacement right now!" 

"--was trying to avoid that," Nikolaj finished, muttering under his breath. 

Crowley grinned widely at Nikolaj. "I'll just be looking for some reading material over there. Have fun, Nikki." 

"I hate you so much right now," the advocate growled, forcing a smile on his face as the other demon put a pseudo-fatherly arm around him. 

"Good to see you, Nikki. It really is." the demon continued, giving him a friendly shake and leaning in too close for comfort. 

"Yeah, Lawson, you too," Nikolaj managed, tilting his head away. Where the hell was that harbinger when he needed him? 

Crowley browsed through the mess of magazines and papers while occasionally glancing up to revel in the awkward position his advocate was in. 

"So how's it been, champ? Liking that new promotion and everything?" 

"Yeah, it's been...so great," Nikolaj said, finally hitting upon an idea for a distraction. "I've already got my first harbinger and everything." He pointedly made eye contact with Crowley and gestured him over. "You should meet him." 

Crowley shook his head frantically and continued to look through the reading material. 

Nikolaj narrowed his eyes, this time pointedly tugging down his sleeve to reveal the bracelet. 'Don't make me' he mouthed, scowling. He was not going to be left alone in this. "Sorry, Lawson. He's, uh, not good around strangers." 

Crowley scowled at him and took as much time as possible before finally approaching them. 

"Lawson, this is my new harbinger," Nikolaj said, untangling himself from the other demon's arm. "Crowley, meet my advocate, Lawson." Lawson just stood, gaping for a long moment. He glanced from Nikolaj to Crowley and back. 

"Crowley? As in king of the crossroads, king of hell Crowley? Well," he paused, flustered. "Former that is, in light of our glorious new queen." He glanced worriedly around, as if to see if anyone had caught his blunder. "Anyway, I'd have though that Abaddon would have just done away with you. What are you doing as someone's harbinger? Especially someone as wet behind the ears as Nikki here." 

Crowley slammed his eyes shut. "I suppose," he started roughly, "our queen wanted to insure that I was quite literally living in hell. Thanks for the reminder." He walked out of the building hurriedly and didn't look back.

About ten minutes later, Nikolaj walked out of the office, paper in hand. "Good news is that processing went faster than normal. Bad news is that we're probably getting reprimanded at some point," he said, surprisingly nonchalant.

"What the bloody hell for?"

"Assault on a superior I think it was. But hey, got the guy at the desk moving, so it's all good. No fucks given, really." 

Crowley exhaled and gave his best attempt at a hug, wrapping his arms around him. It certainly didn't feel as awkward as he thought it would've. "Thank you." He released his grip on him and immediately stared down at his shoes. 

Nikolaj looked away to hide his grin. "Eh, no biggie," he said, blushing, "I've been wanting to do that for ages. I mean ‘Nikki’, really?" 

"I think it's cute," he laughed, raising his eyebrows at him. 

Now it was Nikolaj's turn to look down at his shoes. He cleared his throat. "We should get going before they change their minds. Lawson's eventually going to pick himself up off the floor and go bitch to someone important." 

"Alright. Let's go shopping, Nikki."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So," Nikolaj said, orienting himself as they arrived in the now-familiar alley, "where to first?" 

"Well, as you know, I am a man of high quality. So I only buy the best. I know of a decent Brooks Brothers nearby. Perhaps, we could even get something for you." 

"Lead on then," the advocate said, gesturing at the sidewalk. "No promises on anything for me, though. That's not what we're here for, anyhow."

"Anything catching your eye? I prefer black or the darkest red available." 

The advocate shuffled his feet a bit, looking for a route of escape. "We're here for you, remember?" 

"Nik, every man needs a good suit. If you can't choose, I will choose one for you." 

His ears went red. "Crowley, I'm not good at this. If you have to pick something, do it and get it over with." 

"Hey," Crowley said, tipping Nikolaj's chin up gently, "if that bastard never once tried to spoil you or show you a good time, then he obviously didn't deserve to have you. I'll find you something nice." 

Nikolaj blushed even redder and turned away. "Thanks," he said quietly, glancing back. 

Crowley browsed through the colors, glancing back at Nikolaj as he attempted the find a match for him. He eventually grabbed a pale blue suit and a tan suit. "I believe," he started, "these are your color. Go try em’ on for me." 

The advocate took the suits rather awkwardly, but shuffled off to the dressing rooms anyhow. Crowley leaned against the door of the changing room and waited patiently. But after almost twenty minutes, his patience was wearing thin. 

"Nik?" he called, knocking on the door, "What's the holdup, sunshine?" 

There was a disgruntled sigh from the other side before the door slowly creaked open, leaving Nikolaj in the blue suit, awkwardly adjusting the lapels. 

"Wow. Not bad at all. Blue is definitely your color. I won't make you try the other on. I'm beginning to see that clothes shopping isn't exactly your idea of fun." 

"No, I--" Nikolaj paused, looking down at his shoes again. "It's fine. Just...just not something I'm used to." Another pause. "Be back in a sec," he said, shutting the door again. 

Crowley sighed and walked off to grab his own choice of suits. When Crowley returned, Nikolaj was already out again, looking at the tan suit in a full length mirror. 

"I think we have yet another success with this one. I've already found my choices. I do believe we have what we need." 

Nikolaj gave him a quick smile. "Okay." Returning out of the dressing room several minutes later, he frowned. Once they had paid he said, "It's not that I regret doing it, but I do wonder what's going to happen on account of the...Lawson incident." 

"I doubt there's too much he can do about it. Abaddon's got her hands full with ruling Hell. It's a petty matter that will most likely gain no attention." 

"Damn but I hope so. He was always a petty git." 

"Indeed. Well, we should probably be getting back. We're on a tight leash as it is. Mustn't upset the balance.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hanging up his new acquisitions in the closet, Nikolaj nodded his approval. "I'm thinking a drink--it's been a long day. How about you?" 

"Well, since you're offering," he said smiling, hanging up his own clothes. It was always remarkable how good a new suit made him feel, and the black suit and red tie happened to be his favorite. 

Grabbing two glasses and the bottle, Nikolaj made for the living room. Setting down his load, he sprawled on the couch. "Damn but I'm tired." 

"I agree entirely," he said, swatting Nikolaj's leg off to make room for himself. 

Glaring at him without any real annoyance, the advocate leaned forward and poured both of them a drink. "Good day though, over all." 

"Absolutely," he agreed, taking one of the glasses, "Successful first mission, no annoyance from Abaddon, new suits, and a drink. I'd say this is a very good day." Crowley toasted his glass against the other and took a drink. 

"You have no idea how much I appreciated this morning," Nikolaj said, taking a sip from his own. "Really. Thanks." 

"Only for you, sunshine." 

He didn't answer, choosing instead to consider his drink more closely. After a few more drinks, the two were still seated comfortably on the couch. Crowley stared curiously at Nikolaj, who immediately blushed in response. Turning to say something, the advocate paused, his slightly drink-addled mind registering that they were, in fact, rather close together. Not only that, but it was nice. Very nice, actually. Forgetting his words entirely, he leaned in slightly, his eyes on Crowley's until finally he gave into temptation and their lips met. 

Crowley gasped as Nikolaj's lips met his. He froze instantly, not having a clue as to what he should do. When he felt the lips moving against his, he couldn't help but mimic the action. It certainly wasn't unpleasant. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He instinctively moved a hand behind the advocate's head, running his fingers through his hair and pushing him harder against himself. Crowley opened his mouth wider and captured even more of Nikolaj's mouth. Why did this feel so good? 

It took him a second for the small, sober voice in the back of his head to realize what was going on, but by then Crowley had already reciprocated, so it hardly mattered. Pushing forward, he pressed the other demon into the couch, one hand on the back of the other's neck. After a long moment of lips and breath and heat, he pulled back slightly, breathing hard but smiling. "Sorry," he offered, sounding both very slightly embarrassed and not apologetic in the slightest. 

Crowley shook his head in bewilderment. Why in the world was he apologizing? He tightened the grip on his hair and pulled him up to his face. "Do it again." 

Nikolaj didn't have to be told twice, and he nipped at Crowley's bottom lip before moving in for another kiss--longer, deeper, and not without tongue. Moaning softly, his nails dug at the other demon's neck. 

Crowley moaned into his mouth as the tongue caressed his own. He wrapped his arm around Nikolaj's waist and pulled him on top of his lap. Crowley broke the kiss and nestled his face into the advocate's neck. 

Smiling again, Nikolaj rested his cheek on Crowley's head, free hand running through his harbinger's hair. Crowley moaned at the feeling and leaned his head back into the advocate's hand. Every touch from Nikolaj sent a rush through his veins. 

Leaning in, he nipped at Crowley's ear as his other hand started loosening the other demon's tie. Crowley leaned back happily as the sensations built. He felt on the brink of insanity. All of this was so new and overwhelming, but he need more. 

"P-please," he whispered breathlessly. 

After the tie, he started in on the buttons one by one as his tongue ran along Crowley's ear. The small, sober voice was trying to tell him something, but the rest of it was so driven by need that he paid it no mind. 

Crowley trembled and gasped at the feeling. He didn't even notice that Nikolaj was slowly undressing him. With all of the buttons undone, Nikolaj put his hand on Crowley's chest, digging his nails in as he nuzzled at the other man's neck. 

Crowley flinched and immediately leaned away from him. The scars were repulsive, and he knew Nikolaj would agree. He glanced up at him feeling his eyes begin to well up in embarrassment. 

Looking down to see what the problem was, he saw them. The scars. Dammit, that's what the sober part of his brain had been trying to tell him. Undaunted, he merely looked Crowley in the eyes, giving him a single, soft kiss. "We don't have to go on if you don't want to, but it doesn't bother me, okay?" he said, one hand brushing the demon's cheek 

"I don't want to disappoint you," he said shakily, "but I'm not something you would want. I'm broken and defeated. I've nothing to live for. Why would you want me?" 

Nikolaj smiled, then paused in thought. "I dunno. Probably has something to do with your being the only person to convince me that I could have my own interests. The person who showed me art and history and Italian food. That you swallowed your pride to make my morning easier, that when we went shopping you made a point of making me feel special. Like I meant something." He kissed him again, this time on the forehead. "You've done little but believe in me, Crowley. No reason why I shouldn’t return the favor." 

Crowley slowly shrugged off his shirt and gave Nikolaj a slow nod before burying his face in the advocate's chest. The tears couldn't be held back, but it wasn't out of sadness. This was right. 

Resting his chin on Crowley's head for a moment, Nikolaj had a moment to finally see the scars. His eyes widened as he realized the severity of the injuries. Who the hell could have done this? Willing himself not to physically react otherwise, he scowled. Whoever had would pay. He held the other demon a bit closer. 

Crowley took a deep breath and slowly began unbuttoning Nikolaj's shirt. As more and more flesh came into sight, he nuzzled his face against his chest, taking in the warmth coming off of him. 

Shrugging off his own shirt, Nikolaj wrapped his arms around Crowley again, savoring the feeling of skin against skin. It was, in fact, all every cuddly until he paused, smiled and nipped at Crowley's neck, following it up with a bite where neck met shoulder. 

Crowley moaned and panted heavily as the bite sent a shockwave of pleasure throughout his body. "Nikolaj, please. I need more." He hated how the plea came out as more of a whine. 

Twining his fingers into Crowley's hair, he gripped tight as he trailed light kisses down the demon's neck before moving in to bite him again. "You're so polite when you're all worked up," he teased gently. "What do you want?" 

"I d-don't know. I just need m-more. Please." The sensations were driving him wild. Each bite made him moan louder and louder. 

As he continued the bites, his free hand drifted down to the crotch of the other demon's pants, applying just enough pressure to illicit a response. "Something like this? Or less?" Crowley regrettably released a yelp at the contact. 

His hips bucked involuntarily. "Yes!" 

Nikolaj chuckled as he undid the button and slowly unzipped Crowley's fly. "Have you not done this before?" 

Crowley blushed instantly. "Not exactly and certainly not with a man. I’ve had my fair share of sexual encounters, but this feels different. It feels better." He gave Nikolaj a faint smile. 

He raised an eyebrow. "You've been a pretty terrible flirt for someone who's never been with a man before," he teased, slipping his hand down Crowley's pants. 

"I love seeing how hard it makes you blush," he struggled to explain, letting out gasps between each word. Crowley bucked against the advocate 's hand. 

"I'll admit, I can now see the attraction," Nikolaj said, leaning in for another kiss as his hand wrapped around Crowley's cock. "You're cute when you blush." 

Crowley blushed hard at those words and failed miserably in his attempt to sit still. His hips jerked at the feeling of Nikolaj's hand. He swore silently to himself as the pressure slowly built. 

"But I think you're even cuter when you do that," he said, his hand moving in long, sure strokes. 

"If you keep that up," Crowley panted, "I won't last much longer." 

Nikolaj chuckled at that. "That's the idea, lover." Pulling Crowley's cock from his pants, the demon leaned down, slowly running his tongue along the tip. 

"Fuck!" Crowley growled, slamming his fist into the couch. 

The advocate paused. "I'd say it's too early for that, but I guess you did already buy me dinner," he said, teasingly, before slowly taking more of Crowley's member into his mouth. 

Crowley's hand ran through the advocate's hair, gripping roughly each time Nikolaj took more of him in. "So... fucking good," he whimpered. He fought hard against the urge to buck his hips. 

After a deep breath, Nikolaj slowly took in more--working his tongue all the way--until he could nearly feel it at the back of his throat. 

Crowley froze as he felt the tip nudge against the advocate's throat. He was so close. "Nikolaj, I don't want to degrade you like this," he panted.

Nikolaj playfully rolled his eyes. Considering their current harbinger-advocate relationship, there was hardly a way he could be forced to do something that he didn't want to. In response he merely redoubled his efforts. 

Crowley gripped the advocate's hair hard and gasped uncontrollably. "Fuck!" His hips jerked as he felt every ounce of tension drain from him. He was almost too tired to notice the smiling face between his legs. 

After a moment, Nikolaj drew back, swallowing and wiping his mouth with the back of one hand. "So," he said, standing to press his forehead against Crowley's, "how'd I do?" 

Crowley grinned weakly, struggling to keep his eyes open. "Words are failing me. Though it would seem this isn't the first time you've accomplished such a feat." 

Nikolaj blushed, looking away. "Something like that, yeah," he said, pulling back to look awkwardly around the room, then distractedly down at his feet. 

"Well," Crowley said, lifting himself off the couch, "you'll certainly receive no complaints from me." 

"C'mon," Nikolaj said, leaning in again for a quick kiss. "We should get some sleep." 

Crowley nodded sleepily and followed him to the bedroom, peeling off the remainder of his clothes before falling onto the bed.


	8. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley goes completely against the rules and regulations to take Nikolaj on a proper date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just fucktons of fluff followed by a small run-in with the former advocate and some smut at the end.

Nikolaj slowly opened his eyes as he came awake, then froze as he felt Crowley's warmth against him. The memory of the previous night slowly returned and he frowned nervously. What was the harbinger's reaction going to be the morning after? Regretful? Embarrassed? Angry, even? 

Crowley sighed softly as his eyes opened. Once again, he noticed that Nikolaj was plastered against him, though it wasn't quite as awkward this time. "Still cuddling me are we, sunshine?" 

"Sorry." Nikolaj scooted back against the wall. "Was last night, um, okay for you?" 

Crowley stretched out on the bed and gave him a smile. "I think ‘okay’ would be a severe understatement." 

Nikolaj chuckled, half in appreciation and half in relief. "I've been told I have talent," he said with attempted modesty. 

"Oh really? And who did you perform this talent for?" 

The advocate blushed again, shook his head, and stubbornly hid behind his pillow. "Let's not make this awkward, Crowley." 

"Fine," he huffed. An idea suddenly popped into his head. "You know, I absentmindedly forgot to pick up sleepwear while we were out suit shopping. I think we should perhaps make another trip topside to pick some up." 

Nikolaj stretched. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Might as well take advantage of our days off while we can." He frowned. "Though it does mean another trip to the DMV." 

"As long as we don't run into that idiot, I think we'll be fine." Crowley rolled himself over and out of bed, opening the closet to pull out a fresh suit. 

"True. Though we'll probably have to actually wait in line this time. I probably shouldn't punch anyone again." 

"Probably for the best. Not that I didn't appreciate it." 

Nikolaj pulled himself out of bed and rummaged about for one of his own suits. "Anytime."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The line was unfortunately rather long at the DMV. Not even reading material was going to make this wait any less painful. Crowley turned away from Nikolaj and playfully intertwined his fingers with the advocate's. 

Nikolaj smiled slightly and looked in the opposite direction, then leaned over to playfully bump Crowley in the shoulder. 

"Are you flirting with me, sir?" Crowley asked with a chuckle, bumping his other shoulder. 

"I don't know what you could mean," Nikolaj protested. "I, of course, am the very picture of professionalism and chastity." Before he could continue his comment, however, he froze, staring intently at the crowd of demons beyond the window. "No," he muttered to himself. "Surely not." 

"Surely not what? Surely you're not completely talking out of your ass about being professional and chaste?" 

"No. Well, yes, but not what I mean." He continued scanning the crowd for a moment, then shook his head. "I just thought I saw Lawson." 

Crowley rolled his eyes at the thought. "I'll agree with surely not, and let's assume that he is surely not here." 

"I wouldn't put it past him. He's a bit of--" he paused as his name was called. "I'll be right back." 

Crowley scanned the crowd behind them carefully. Thankfully, he didn't see any sign of the idiot. He sighed with relief as Nikolaj returned. 

"Ready to go then?"

"Absolutely. Let's get out of here before I start getting paranoid."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So, I may have been lying to you about my reasons for returning to the world above," Crowley started. "I think today we're going to have some fun." 

Nikolaj raised an eyebrow. "I'm almost afraid to ask. What did you have in mind?" 

"That... is a surprise." 

Huffing, the advocate turned away. "You're a very cruel person, you know." 

"Never cruel towards you, sunshine," he said, taking Nikolaj by the hand. He led the advocate to a large brick wall with an open silver gate in front. "Any idea what this place is?" 

Pausing to read the sign, he shrugged. "It's a zoo? I don't have a lot of context for this. It looks like there are animals involved?" 

"It's a bit like a museum, except it's open and houses live animals. I think it will be right up your alley." "Well you've not been wrong before, " Nikolaj admitted dubiously.

"Oh my god, the penguins!" the advocate enthused, grinning from ear to ear. "Just look at them waddle!" Pressing his face to the glass, he happily watched the birds at their antics. 

Crowley grinned widely as he leaned back against the concrete that surrounded the penguin enclosure. "All this fuss over penguins. Just wait until you see lions." 

"I'm withholding judgment. I think the penguins are my favorite," he insisted as they headed out of the chilled walkway and towards the safari exhibit.

As Crowley gazed at the lions, he began to glance back and forth between Nikolaj and the big cats. He ran his fingers through the advocate's hair and ruffled it about into a puffy mess. "I think I see a similarity." 

Nikolaj pulled away, shaking his head and trying to tame his hair. "And here I thought you were going to make some sort of comment on how terribly regal I am, but no, it's got to be the hair." 

"A lion's mane is what makes him regal. You should feel proud." 

Nikolaj pouted for a moment, then looked over Crowley's shoulder, his eyes widening. "Look, they're feeding the giraffe, come on!" he insisted, grabbing the other demon's wrist and dragging him along. 

Crowley glared at the large animal that was well within petting distance. He'd never really cared for animals in general, and this beast was certainly no exception. He backed away slowly as the giraffe nearest to him began sticking out its tongue. 

Oblivious to Crowley's dislike, Nikolaj didn't release his grasp and instead pulled forward a bit, laughing. "Look, I think it likes you." 

"It can continue liking me from a distance. The feeling isn't mutual," he grumbled. 

"Oh come on," Nikolaj insisted, taking a offered branch from an attending zoo employee. "You can feed it from a distance this way." 

Crowley heaved an annoyed sigh and took the branch from Nikolaj. He held out his arm towards the animal and shook the branch. The giraffe extended its tongue, and it slowly wrapped around the branch, and it suddenly wrapped around his hand and forearm. Crowley froze as the tongue gripped him and pulled. "Get it off!" 

After a moment's confusion, Nikolaj, snorting with laughter, managed to disentangle demon from giraffe with the assistance of the zoo keeper. "Sorry," he managed, trying to catch his breath. 

"And this is what I get for listening to you," he huffed, wiping the saliva from his arm. 

"What, memorable experiences?" Nikolaj teased. "Come on, if we hit up one of the food stands I bet we can get you some napkins. And also lunch." 

Crowley sat on the bench near the food truck while Nikolaj ordered food. He was still feeling rather grumpy after the giraffe incident. Nikolaj returned a short while later with two orders of chili cheese fries and a large handful of napkins. Sitting down on the bench he gave Crowley a quick peck on the cheek. "Thank you," he whispered in the other demon's ear before returning his gaze to the food. "I considered a chili cheese dog, but figured it might be, ah...suggestive." 

Crowley tried his hardest not to smile, but he ultimately failed. "You can be as suggestive as you like, sunshine. I won't be offended," he said wiping at his sleeve with the napkins. 

The advocate was just about to make another comment when he paused again, staring at the crowd and then back to Crowley. "Did you just see...?" 

"See what?" Crowley glanced at the crowd. He didn't see any familiar faces. 

Nikolaj growled and put his head in his hands. "I don't know why I keep seeing him today. There's no good reason why he would be topside." 

"Hey," he said, running his fingers through Nikolaj's hair, "it'll be fine. It's probably best to keep yourself distracted. I think we've been doing well so far. How about we visit the petting zoo after we eat?" 

The advocate looked up, a grin on his face. "Damn but humans get to have all the fun. Why doesn't Hell get to have zoos?" He paused in thought. "Guess it doesn't really go with the image." 

"I'd say not. The most we are allowed are the hellhounds. But to a demon, they're more tame than anything." 

Nikolaj shrugged. "I'll take your word for it. I don't have enough seniority to work with hellhounds yet." 

"I have-" He was starting to forget again. "Had one. Her name was Juliet." 

"Ah," Nikolaj offered lamely. "Was this connected to the, uh...former job thing?" 

Crowley leaned back against the bench contemplating his next sentence. He did promise Nikolaj the truth and only under sober circumstances. Now was a good enough time as ever. "My former job was more than a job. I was the king of Hell." 

Given Lawson's special brand of verbal diarrhea, revelation shouldn't have been surprising to him, and yet Nikolaj still felt a panicked chill up his spine. Still, he forced himself not to say anything, and instead looked over at Crowley sideways, waiting for him to go on.

"Abaddon is the last remaining knight of Hell. While I was apprehended by a couple of hunters, she showed up some time after. So, after the angels fell and the hunters who were holding me captive left me alone, she came back to take me prisoner. She decided that I wasn't fit for the throne and that she deserved to be queen. And that's how I became a harbinger. Abaddon wanted to see me suffer as much as possible, so she put me back at the bottom of the food chain. She's been reveling in my suffering ever since." He exhaled a long, slow breath. It felt like a weight off his shoulders. 

The advocate sat silent for a lot moment, mentally restraining the dozens of questions that came to mind. "Well," he started, "is it at least a little comforting that some of her planning backfired?" he asked, gently nudging at Crowley with one shoulder. 

Crowley grinned faintly at him. "It is. And I do try my hardest to make things difficult for her. I'm sure that makes more sense to you now, my ill behavior?" 

"Yes, definitely. Though it doesn't change the fact that we still have to play by her rules. Especially because, let's face it, I'm the lowest-ranking advocate in Hell. If it weren't for this scheme of her's, I'm sure I'd have been a harbinger for the next century." 

"I'm not even sure as to how you're a demon. Demons are generally mean-spirited and bloodthirsty. You squeal at the sight of penguins. I'm not complaining though. I quite enjoy you." Crowley slipped his fingers between Nikolaj's and gave a firm squeeze. 

The advocate snorted. "Trust me, no one else in Hell is sure either." He smiled, though, squeezing back. "But what's your excuse? You're a bit of a pain in the neck, but you're a far cry from standard demon." 

"Let's just say I'm older than I look," he said. "There's a reason you taking on my blood was so painful." 

Nikolaj shuddered at the memory, and let Crowley's dodge of his question slide. "That's a bit of an understatement." He scowled. "Nice of everyone to warn me," he remarked sarcastically. 

"Yes well, that's your Queen looking out for your best interest. Ready to move on? I think you're going to be even more pleased with the next part of the zoo." 

"Yeah? Is it anywhere nearly as good as the penguins?" 

"Believe me, Nik, you're in for a real treat."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I-it's..." Nikolaj stammered, staring down at the small creature that had been unceremoniously dropped into his lap. "It's so fluffy," he finally, managed, tentatively stroking the lamb on its woolly head. 

"Yes well, their coats are meant to be so. What do you think?" 

He shook his head and laughed as the lamb licked him on the nose. "I don't suppose we can keep one in the apartment?" 

"Not a chance. As adorable as it may be, I have a reputation to keep. I'm not going to be taking a lamb on leisurely strolls through Hell." 

Nikolaj chuckled, scratching the creature behind the ears. "Nonsense. Anyone can get a hellhound, but clearly only very fearsome demons feel secure with lambs." 

"Then you would be the one walking it. I will not be seen with such a creature." 

"You're a spoil sport," Nikolaj accused, then immediately redirected his attentions to a small chick that had wandered over. 

"And we're most certainly not bringing that home either," he said pointing at the chick. 

"Oh come on!" Nikolaj scooped up the thing in one hand and held it up. "Look at that little face." 

"That little face will grow into an annoying feathered pest that is only useful when killed and fried." 

The demon looked aghast and clutched the chick to his chest. "Don't you say that in front of him!" he insisted with mock indignation. "Shhh," he cooed to the chick, gently petting its downy feathers. "Don't you listen to the grumpy man. I'm sure you're lovely." 

Crowley rolled his eyes. The poor guy had no idea just how cruel the world was. "Put the monstrosity down. We only have a couple hours left until we have to get back, and I have something else planned." 

Looking offended, Nikolaj begrudgingly put down the chick and shifted the lamb off of his lap with a final pet. He stood, bushing hay off of his pant legs. "What's next?" 

They walked a good couple of miles until they reached a large park with fountains and gardens. Near the entrance, there was a small group of people playing instruments. At first, Nikolaj was far too taken with the park itself to actually listen to the music, but after a moment he paused and cocked his head to one side. 

Crowley examined him as the music continued. Seeing the advocate's reaction to new things had become a fascinating game; he loved seeing the moment when his eyes would light up. 

"C'mon, let's get closer," Nikolaj insisted, pulling Crowley forward again. He glanced back at the other demon. "I've heard music a bit when I was topside, but nothing like this. What is it?" 

"This is sort of freestyle music. People play what they feel. This particular group is using guitars and a series of drums." Nikolaj couldn't have been smiling wider. Leaning in, he kissed Crowley hard before continuing to move closer to the band. 

Crowley smiled as Nikolaj inspected the instruments. Never had someone's fascination been more amusing. It made him want to reconsider some of the rules of the DMV. If the throne was ever his again, he would definitely have to allow more free time for the lower-level demons. Some time later, two having eventually found themselves a spot in the shade near the band, the music started coming to a close. 

Nikolaj laid his head of Crowley's shoulder and looked sideways at him. "So, what's next?" 

"I suppose some dinner before heading back might not be a bad idea. You could use more culinary experiences." 

He grinned, nuzzling Crowley's cheek. "Sounds good. What this time?" 

"A timeless classic known as pizza. You ready, or shall we listen a bit longer?" Crowley turned and pressed his forehead against Nikolaj's. 

"Mmm...food is good." the advocate decided after a moment of thought. "Lead the way?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So, what do you think?" Crowley asked as the advocate took his first bite. 

A bit of sauce smeared on his nose, Nikolaj looked down at the pizza in reverence as he chewed. "How in the world did they put so much meat on one pizza?" he asked after swallowing. Without waiting for an answer, he immediately shoved more into his mouth. 

"You are too adorable. Still can't fathom as to how you are a demon," Crowley laughed. 

The advocate shrugged as he continued his way through the slice. Finally finishing it and dabbing somewhat ineffectually at his face with a napkin, he said, "Lawson always said I was half-baked. Maybe there was something to it." 

Crowley narrowed his eyes at Nikolaj. "You shouldn't take anything that bastard says to heart. He's an idiot at best who can't see a good thing when it's standing right in front of him."

"Unlike me, who can definitely see that I should have another slice," Nikolaj said, picking up more pizza. 

Crowley shook his head laughing. "Better savor it, sunshine. We've only about twenty minutes left until we're expected back." 

"And we've still managed not to pick up sleep wear. Somehow I doubt that they're going to let us use that as an excuse for a third time." 

"Luckily for us, there's a store right next door that has exactly what I need. I had the entire, and I do mean entire, day planned out. We shouldn't get into too much trouble for simply taking our time." 

"Well don't you know how to show a girl a good time," Nikolaj teased. "We'll have to be careful, though. If Abaddon's as invested in you being as miserable as you say she's not going to be nearly as into date night as we are." 

"I could care less what she thinks. I don't approve of the way she runs things, and I intend for her to be well aware of it." 

Nikolaj sighed and poked at his pizza with a fork. "What she thinks matters a rather lot, Crowley. We don't exactly have a lot of recourse here." He paused. "So do you have a plan about the whole...thing?" 

"Somewhat, but it would involve finding some old acquaintances. Until they're found, I'm stuck." 

"Acquaintances? Not demons, I'd guess? But who?" 

"Can't say right now. I don't feel that it's the safest information to pass around at the moment. If Abaddon got word of it, I would most certainly be a dead man." 

"Understood," Nikolaj agreed, nodding. "But we should probably get going here soon. Think we can take this with us?" 

"I think that can be arranged."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nikolaj shook himself as they re-materialized. "That always makes me dizzy," he grumbled. "But," he leaned in close, touching his nose to Crowley's, "thank you for a lovely day." 

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. I do so love spoiling you," Crowley said, turning and kissing him deeply. Returning the kiss, Nikolaj pressed the other demon against the wall, starting to twine his fingers into Crowley's hair when he heard, "Goodness, children, get a room." 

He whirled around, scowling to meet his former advocate's gaze. The demon was leaning against the opposite wall, and though he was smiling smugly, the hair he'd drawn over one eye didn't quite mask the swelling. 

"Mind your own business, Lawson," he managed through gritted teeth as he took as step forward, "or I'll black the other eye, too." 

Lawson started towards the couple "Don't get too cocky there, champ," he said, his tone turning dangerous. "Your business is the queen's business, which in this case makes it my business. Yes, I saw you two lovebirds go and violate the terms of your permit. Must be nice to get to gallivant all day. And she'll hear about it, believe you me." 

Nikolaj's chest tightened, and he could feel Crowley tense beside him. He put one hand on his harbingers arm, willing him to stay put. 

Before he could even form a retort, Lawson continued, "Because he might just be a washed up has-been of a king, and you might just be a half-baked piss poor excuse for a demon, but she still takes an interest in you. Probably more than you deserve." He grinned as he saw that his insults had hit home with his former harbinger. "Really, I don't know what I did to deserve getting stuck with you. Abaddon was in such a rush for more demons that she had a few of you pulled out of transformation early. Most of them were fine, but I ended up with you." 

By this point Lawson and Nikolaj were close now. "You and your fucking guilt complex, your whining. For fuck's sake, boy, you went and had a fit over penguins. Worst. Demon. Ever. One thing I can say, though. You gave great head." 

Nikolaj's breathing had quickened, and he could feel himself shrinking away from the other demon, the thin grasp of control he'd had in this situation slipping from his grasp. He remembered all-too well the orders, the humiliation, the pain; his arm crackled with phantom aches. Lawson grabbed his tie and dragged him forward a few stumbling steps. 

"Yeah, I said it," he said, sneering at Crowley's furious expression. "Have you tried him yet, Crowley? He's good, isn't he? Really, you should thank me--I like to think I trained him pretty well. None of the other advocates complained, certainly." He returned his gaze to Nikolaj, pulling him nose-to-nose with another yank of the tie. "You were my good little bitch, weren't you, Nikki?" Chuckling at the other demon's avoiding his gaze, he went on. "Hell, you're an advocate now, and you're still my little bitch. And that's all you'll ever--" 

Then, something in Nikolaj snapped. Afterwards, he couldn't have said how the angel blade slid into his hand, but it was there, and suddenly there was a growl in his throat as he grabbed a handful of Lawson's shirt, then he was slamming him into the opposite wall, his eyes black, but not angry. He was deathly, deathly calm as he rested the angel blade against Lawson's throat. 

"You're not going to bother us again," he promised. "Because if you touch me, if you speak to me, hell, if you even come near me or Crowley again, I'm going to kill you. And no queen is going to be fast enough to save you. Got it?" Lawson nodded shakily. 

"Good." He released his grip on the other advocate, letting him slump to the floor. Then he turned to Crowley, his eyes returning to their normal color with a blink. "Come on, lover," he said, moving forward to offer his hand. "I think it's time we went home." 

Crowley was quiet the entire way back to the apartment. He couldn't think of what to say. Nikolaj really did have the world's worst advocate. As they walked through the door, he glanced at Nikolaj. His face was unreadable. Crowley cursed under his breath. The son of a bitch would die for this. 

Finally getting to the apartment and unlocking the door, Nikolaj heaved a sigh and sat down on the couch. Only then did he realize that he was still holding the angel blade, his grip so tight that his knuckles had gone while. Carefully placing it down on the coffee table, he looked over at Crowley. 

"I'm sorry, I...I didn't want you to have to hear all that." 

Crowley sat down beside him. "That's the second time something unwanted has been said. Something needs to be done about that idiot." 

Nikolaj shook his head. "If he's working for Abaddon, nothing good is going to come from antagonizing him further." 

"It probably doesn't help that he's seen you with an angel blade, but he may choose to keep quiet after that threat." Crowley grabbed the advocate's hand and squeezed. "Are you alright?" 

"I...I don't know, honestly," Nikolaj admitted. "I just...I just never wanted to think about all that ever again, and then it went and caught up to me anyhow." 

That son of a bitch would most certainly die tonight. "Hey," he whispered, placing a hand against Nikolaj's face, "he won't be hurting you anymore. You won't have to think about it any longer. You've got me." 

Nuzzling against Crowley's hand, Nikolaj gave a small smile. "I was worried that you wouldn't want me anymore. After what he said, I mean." 

"You had no choice but to abide by his orders. It's the burden every harbinger must bear. I'm so sorry you were abused by that moron, but you needn't worry about him. You're stuck with me, sunshine." 

Nikolaj chuckled, blinking back tears. "I can think of worse fates." He paused. "But, assuming that Lawson was telling the truth, the whole pulled out of processing thing is interesting." 

"It's not entirely impossible. Abaddon is sloppy. She doesn't know a damn thing about raising ranks." Crowley stood suddenly and extended his hand. "But enough about that. Let's forget about everyone and spend the rest of our night wisely." 

Taking Crowley's hand, Nikolaj stood, then wrapped his arms around the other demon and pulled him into a deep kiss. 

Crowley moaned into the kiss and pushed them both into the hallway. He pushed Nikolaj roughly against the wall and slipped his hand into the advocate's pants. 

"Tell me to stop and I will." 

Nikolaj inhaled sharply at the sudden contact, his eyes slightly glazed over. "Mmkay," he managed, locking them in another kiss. 

Crowley gripped him and stroked softly, reveling in the quiet, muffled sounds coming from the advocate. He broke the kiss panting and glanced at the bedroom then back at Nikolaj. 

Unable to stop his whimpers, Nikolaj nodded. "Take me?" he asked, his voice little more than a whisper. 

Crowley retracted his hand and took Nikolaj by the hand, leading him to the bedroom. He slowly unbuttoned the advocate's shirt and watched in anticipation as the layers slid off. Crowley ran his fingers over the flesh in front of him. He grinned widely as Nikolaj shivered. 

Shaking slightly, Nikolaj started to return the favor of unbuttoning. Once he was done, he pulled Crowley forward, giving him a light kiss on the neck that quickly turned into a nip, that in turn became a bite. 

Crowley gasped at the sensation and gripped Nikolaj's hair. "Making your mark, are you?" he whispered. 

Gasping slightly from the mix of pain and pleasure, the advocate drew back, running his tongue over his bottom lip. "Something like that," he answered. "Any objections?" 

"You'll hear none from me." Crowley backed Nikolaj to the edge of the bed, pushing him playfully onto it. He gazed at the advocate intensely as he removed his jacket and shirt. Once the harbinger was undressed, Nikolaj dragged him down on top of him, their foreheads touching. 

"Good. Because it won't be the last time."

Crowley kissed along his jawline and down his neck, nipping slightly as he moved downward. His hand made quick work of the advocate's belt, and he slid under gripping Nikolaj firmly. 

Nikolaj gasped again, his back arching slightly. "And you're sure that you haven't done this before?" he asked with a smile. 

Crowley chuckled against his neck. "Three hundred years of experience, but none with a male. I take it I'm doing alright?" 

He attempted to shrug casually. "Eh, I guess I'll keep you around," he teased as he continued to squirm under the other demon's attentions. 

"I can always sleep on the couch if I'm not adequate enough for you," he teased, nipping at his ear. 

"I suppose that remains to be seen," he retorted, smiling impishly. "But you've made a decent start." 

"Let's not wait then," he growled into the advocate's ear, flipping him onto his stomach and giving a rough thrust against him. "What do you want me to do, Nik? What do you need?" He grabbed the edge of Nikolaj's pants and tugged down hard. 

He tried to speak, but a that came out at first was a needy, mewling sound. "Please," he managed, his voice hoarse with need. "Please." 

“Please, what? I doubt I can help you unless I know what it is you need, Nikolaj. What do you want? Do you want me to fuck you?" He thrust against him again, enjoying the friction. "Will you let me fuck you, Nikolaj? You have no idea how badly I want to." 

Nikolaj hissed and writhed under the attention. "I--" he gasped, looking pleadingly at the other demon. "I need it, please. Please fuck me." 

Crowley wasted no time removing the rest of his clothes. He grabbed Nikolaj's hips, hauling him closer. "And don't worry about assistance, Nik. I already know where you keep your things." He slicked his fingers with the lubricant and gently pressed against the advocate's backside. 

Nikolaj took in a shaky breath, biting back a moan of pleasure. "Wow, you really--" he gasped again. "--planned this out, didn't you?" 

"I may have made an effort to arrange possibly the perfect date," he said, slipping a digit into the advocate, "I trust it's been to your liking?" 

Sucking in another deep breath, Nikolaj shuddered. "I'd say that's an understatement." 

"Good to know," he growled, slipping yet another in. "I can't wait to see how much of an understatement it is after I take you." 

The advocate managed to chuckle. "Then that makes two of us." 

Crowley retracted his fingers and applied the lubrication to himself, moaning with each stroke. "Are you ready for me, Nikolaj?" he whispered, leaning down close to the advocate's ear. 

"You have no idea," Nikolaj panted, his body quivering, his cheeks flushed, his eyes slightly glazed over. "No idea," he repeated. 

Crowley tilted his hips forward, breath hitching as he made contact. He couldn't hold back the breathy moans as he pushed in. "Nikolaj," he panted, "you're so tight. It's... so good.”

Nikolaj was unable to reply for a long moment as he gripped the bedspread tightly, his body shuddering in pleasure at the feeling of fullness. "You're telling me," he responded, his voice husky as he ground himself against the other demon.

Crowley started with slow, deep thrusts. He gripped Nikolaj's hips and nipped lightly at his shoulders. "Is this alright?" he said breathlessly. "The last thing I want is to hurt you." 

Jerking at the sensations along his back, Nikolaj shook his head. "No. I'm fine. Just...more. I need more," he breathed, thrusting back in response. 

Crowley lifted himself up, tightening his grip on Nikolaj before thrusting in hard. He slowly built up his pace with every snap of his hips. "Fuck," he swore under breath. The sensation was driving him insane. 

Nikolaj shuddered, his entire body tingling with the warm buzz of ecstasy. He was nearly delirious with the feeling, the only thing he could imagine was the pressing need thrumming through him and the desperate desire for release. 

Crowley despised the needy whines and whimpers escaping him. His movements were becoming erratic and out of rhythm. It had been far too long since he'd been with anyone, longer than he could remember. "Nikolaj," he moaned, "I can't. Oh fuck! I'm going to come." 

Nikolaj wanted to answer, to urge the other demon on, to say that he was close, too, but couldn't concentrate on the words, couldn't focus on anything but the building pleasure. 

Crowley reached underneath the advocate and stroked him frantically. A loud, strangled shout escaped him as the orgasm ripped through him. His fingers dug into Nikolaj's hip as his body trembled. 

Nikolaj writhed, letting out a mixture between a moan and a sob as his body pulsed with his own orgasm. 

Utterly spent, he went limp, luxuriating in the afterglow. "That," he managed finally, "was amazing." 

Crowley fell beside the advocate, panting heavily. "I... will not argue... with that." He couldn't remember the last time he had felt such bliss. 

Scooting over, Nikolaj nuzzled the other demon. "Perfect date night achieved." 

Crowley wrapped an arm around Nikolaj and hummed contently. "Good to know I'm not a complete monster." 

Chuckling, Nikolaj shook his head. "You're a pretty amazing lay, so even if you're a bit monstrous, I think it all evens out." 

Crowley gave him a tired grin and slowly closed his eyes. This day had certainly been an accomplishment, and he was more than happy to succumb to a well-deserved sleep.


	9. The Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Nikolaj are brought before the Queen for their crimes.
> 
> Warning: very dark chapter involving rape

Nikolaj was having a perfectly acceptable dream about something undefined but pleasant, when a loud thudding noise brought him suddenly to wakefulness. "Mm?" he mumbled, confused.

"Open in the name of the queen," barked a voice, and the advocate's stomach dropped.

He stumbled upright, groping vaguely for his pants. Pulling on the first leg, he awkwardly hopped over to where his shirt lay.

Crowley's eyes shot open as he heard the voice. He jumped from the bed and hastily threw on his shirt. He was halfway through pulling up his pants when he heard the door bust open.

The advocate glanced over at Crowley. "The fuck is going on?" he asked, just as he heard the crunch of the door being kicked in.

"I think our blatant misuse of topside time just caught up with us," Crowley muttered, buttoning up his shirt.

"This is an awfully strong reaction over penguins," Nikolaj muttered darkly as he pulled his shirt on just as the squad of demons rounded the corner.

One of them grabbed onto his raised arms and twisted them behind his back. The advocate grunted in pain, but forced himself to remain still as yet another demon started giving him a pat down.

"Can we at least know what's going on?"

Another demon pushed Crowley against the wall, slamming his head roughly against it. "They won't tell us anything, Nikolaj," he grunted as they were hauled into the living room area. He glanced worriedly at the angel blade still laying on the kitchen counter.

Nikolaj looked sheepishly over at Crowley as one of their 'escorts' picked up the blade and look pointedly first at them and then at the weapon. Still wordless, the demons hustled them out the door and down the hall towards Abaddon's throne room.

As the large double doors swung open, it became clear that Abaddon was already present, reclining in her throne with her usual demon foot stool. Silently, the demons brought the pair to the base of the dais steps, shoving them to their knees.

The queen stood, riding crop in one hand. She tapped rhythmically in the palm of one hand as she started down the stairs.

"It seems as though you boys have been busy during the free time I graciously allotted you. Let's see, what was it?" She put the tip of the crop to her lips in thought. "Abuse of requested leave. Two counts of that, I believe it is. Illegal weaponry," she continued as one of the demons reverently brought her Nikolaj's angel blade. Picking it up, she admired how it shown in the light of the nearby torch. "Just one count of that so far. Assaulting a superior, threatening a superior." 

Nikolaj, who had been keeping his eyes fixed on the ground, looked off to the side, his face a strange mixture of remorse and vindication. 

"And last, but certainly not least... murdering a superior."

He jerked his head around to stare at Crowley, his eyes bugging slightly and his brows furrowed. "What?" he hissed.

Crowley bit his lip and turned his head slowly towards Nikolaj, giving him a twisted smirk before looking forward again.

Nikolaj scowled murderously at him as Abaddon continued. "And it seems as though the victim was killed with an angel blade. How uncommon." She reached the bottom of the stairs and used her crop to tilt Nikolaj's chin up. "Where could something like that have come from?"

The advocate swallowed. "I took it, my queen," he said simply. "From the angel we retrieved for you." The weight of his advocate's bracelet felt suddenly heavy on his wrist. Surely rank meant something. Surely they could do less to him than they would to Crowley.

"Do you really need to ask where it came from? It's a bit obvious, isn't it?" Crowley muttered under his breath. He chuckled at Nikolaj's attempt to play nice with her.

Glancing sharply over at his harbinger, Nikolaj gave him a slight shove with his shoulder. Why couldn't he shut up just this one time?

Abaddon tsk'ed. "Clearly you haven't been doing your job, Nikolaj." The advocate looked back at her, confused. "If he's still talking back, then clearly you haven't been teaching him that it's unacceptable. It seems as though I'll have to step in and remedy that for you." With that she gestured to the guards, who hauled the pair to their feet to follow in the queen's wake.

Crowley winced at the frantic look on Nikolaj's face. 'I'm sorry,' he mouthed. No matter how hard he tried, he always managed to be a constant burden.

Nikolaj attempted a smile and failed miserably. In light of all that he had learned in the past few days, the mystery of Crowley's scars was far from mysterious. A small, panicked portion of his brain wondered how many he'd have at the end of this.

This was a room Crowley had hoped he'd never have to see again. The whips on the wall were a painful reminder of his last time here. The panic was flowing off of Nikolaj like waves. Crowley grabbed his hand, trying to bring some sort of comfort to him.

Lacing his fingers in between Crowley's, Nikolaj gave what he hoped was a comforting squeeze before the two were dragged apart. Crowley was stripped of his shirt and was again shackled to a length of chain that ran up towards the ceiling. A whimper escaped the advocate as he watched on helplessly, Abaddon standing nearby.

"So, as I said, it was your job to punish him,” she said, offering him the multi-flailed whip that was in her hand. He stared back at her, horrified.

Crowley cursed himself again and again. If he'd only had the good sense to keep his mouth shut, he wouldn't be staring at the most terrified demon in existence.

Abaddon narrowed her eyes at Nikolaj for a moment as one of the guards pulled on the chain, sending the former king of Hell up onto his toes.

"Or," she said, going over to the canister labeled 'Holy Water' and opening it, "I could do it." She dipped the whip in for a long moment, staring into the advocate's eyes all the while. Removing it, she struck out at Crowley's chest.

Crowley screamed and flailed as the water burned across his flesh. He panted hard, trying to regain control of himself.

Nikolaj started forward, only to be held back by two of Abaddon's enforcers. He glanced frantically between the screaming harbinger and the queen of Hell.

"So," she said, eyeing a similar whip, "either I can do that, or you can do something... less drastic."

Nikolaj hesitated, and she started back towards the holy water again. "Wait," he managed finally, his voice little more than a croak. She paused. He looked over at Crowley, his eyes desperate.

Crowley nodded weakly at him. He'd rather endure a thousand lashes from Nikolaj than Abaddon any day.

"I'll... I'll do it," he said weakly as Abaddon smiled and pressed the second whip into his hand.

"That's my boy," she said, putting one hand to his cheek.

He had to steel himself against jerking away and instead looked down at the instrument in his hand. Taking a deep breath, he stepped forward and snapped the whip but without enthusiasm. The strike hit home with little force.

"If you're not going to do it right," Abaddon hissed in his ear, "then don't do it at all."

"Just do it, Nik. It's okay." Crowley gave him a weak smile, trying to reassure him.

It didn't help. As if anything did at this point. Nikolaj took another deep breath and took a second go at it. This time the whip crackled loudly, leaving a welt along Crowley's side.

Crowley flinched, letting out a small whimper. "Harder, Nikolaj."

The advocate could feel Abaddon's hand on his shoulder, and as she started to whisper to him, he could feel something snap inside him again. Anger. Helplessness. And there was only one outlet for it. Gritting his teeth, he swung the whip again. This time it hit with full force, leaving three long, bloodied wounds down the other demon's back.

Crowley shook hard as the pain pulsed throughout his body. A series of pathetic whimpers escaped him before the pain slowly worked its way back down.

Nikolaj stood there breathing hard, his hands trembling. Abaddon cocked an eyebrow.

"You really are terrible at this," she remarked, shaking her head. "We should move on before I find the pair of you too boring." Nodding to her guards, she tilted her head at Crowley. "Switch them places."

Still numb from what had just happened, Nikolaj barely looked up when the demons stripped him of his own shirt. But as they shackled him to the length of chain, his head snapped up, looking first to the ceiling, then down at his feet as he scrunched his eyes shut and tried to steady his own breathing.

Crowley landed hard on his hands and knees as the shackles released him. The pain rippled through his body. He thought hard of anyway to help the advocate.

"Nikolaj, it's okay. Just breathe," he managed through gritted teeth. He was trying to think of anything to say to calm him down.

The advocate tried hard to look reassured, but the fear was an icy knot in his stomach that wouldn't undo.

Abaddon smirked. "Well aren't you being all comforting, Crowley?" She lazily spun the flails of her whip. "Have you really gone that soft? I can't believe that you've attached yourself to this toothless puppy of an advocate I leashed you to."

Casually, she lashed out, catching Nikolaj along the ribs, causing small pock-mark burns where the holy water still clung to the whip. The advocate tried to stifle his cries, but instead it came out as more of a strangled sob.

Crowley glared at her angrily. Nikolaj had been nothing but loyal and faithful to her, and now he was finally seeing her for what she really was.

"You really think I care about him? He's the world's worst demon. What may sound like comfort to you, is just a way to shut him up."

She shrugged as Nikolaj bit his lip and looked away.. "Oh, good then." She wandered back over to the wall and, after studying it for a practiced moment, chose the all-too-familiar whip with the metal hooks braided in. "After all, I wouldn't want to upset you."

As she walked past Nikolaj towards the brazier, she took his jaw in one hand and looked at him almost apologetically.

"It's nothing personal, dear. It's just the burden of command; you and your harbinger have broken the rules, and answering for that is your job."

He stared back at her, too overwhelmed to say anything coherent. She rolled her eyes in disgust as she stepped forward to dangle the metal hooks over the coals.

"Worst demon indeed. Finally, we agree on something."

Crowley eyed the whip carefully. Nikolaj wouldn't be able to endure it. It would shatter him. He glanced nervously between the two of them.

"But no," Abaddon continued, eyeing the metal as it heated up.,"I'm glad you've not gotten attached, Crowley dear. It would make watching this so much harder."

Deeming the whip hot enough, she removed it from the coals, then raked the whip over Nikolaj's chest. No longer even trying to be quiet, the advocate screamed, twisting as he tried to escape the pain of the lash's heated barbs. Abaddon, for her part, stood casually. The whip held loosely in her hand, staring Crowley down for a long moment, punctuated by Nikolaj's anguished screams.

"I'd hate for you to have to go through with something like that," she said, not breaking eye-contact with the harbinger as she tugged hard, ripping the barbs out and tearing flesh with them.

"Abaddon, stop! This isn't even his fault. I did this. I planned to abuse our topside time even before we left Hell. I gave the angel blade to Nikolaj after taking it from its previous owner. And I most certainly killed that idiot you decided to pair with Nikolaj. I did everything, so just leave him alone."

The queen of Hell shook her head. "While your confession has been noted, I don't think that you've addressed the main point here. You insist that you have no investment in him, but honestly, I don't think I buy it. So how about you come clean? Otherwise, I'll just have to make my own entertainment."

With an expert flick of the wrist, she snapped the whip again, this time just barely grazing Nikolaj across the ribs, drawing an anguished yelp from the advocate.

Crowley heaved a heavy sigh. "Is that what you really want to know, Abaddon? Do I have feelings for the poorest excuse for a demon?" he chuckled, gesturing at Nikolaj. "If you really want to know that badly, then fine. Yes. For once in my life I've found someone who doesn't loathe or fear me, someone who took the time and patience to try and understand me, and someone I can make equally happy just by showing him that he is worth the effort. So, I hope that answers all of your questions for today, my queen. Because you won't be getting anything else from me today."

At this, Nikolaj finally looked up, the ghost of a smile on his face. For the rest of the room, there was a long pause, and then Abaddon shrieked with laughter, nearly to the point of doubling over. It took her a moment to compose herself, and even then she bit her lip against further mirth. Glancing over at Crowley, she shook her head.

"Really? Him? I paired you up with a male advocate as a joke, but I never thought..." she chuckled again. "Well, at any rate," she said, the crop suddenly appearing in her hand as she brought it under Crowley's chin, "I think you'll find that I'll be getting plenty from you. Because for right now, I find your little love affair amusing. And let's face it, his naivety can be entertaining. But the moment that ceases to be true, well..." she shrugged. "There's not much room for that sort of thing in my Hell." Her eyes narrowed. "So, you'll do as I tell you, or I'll send him back for... re-education. I'm sure you can only imagine what an experience that would be, starting the process again. And what I'm telling you, is that you're going to go over to that holy water and get... inventive with him. For my satisfaction."

Crowley rose from the ground shakily. A sudden fear washed over him. The last thing he wanted was a life in his hands, more specifically Nikolaj's. "Can we negotiate?"

Abaddon raised an eyebrow, bemused. "Perhaps. Provided I find it amusing enough."

"I don't care what it is. If it gets him off the leash, then I'll do it."

The queen paused, tapping her shoe in thought. "So, love birds, I've been wondering: with all the time off I've been giving you, have you fucked yet?"

Despite circumstance, Nikolaj still found it within himself to be vaguely embarrassed, and he looked away, his face reddening.

Crowley glanced back and forth between Nikolaj and the floor before answering. "Yes."

She smirked a bit. "Interesting. And what I really want to know is who was on bottom. I mean, I've heard stories from the dearly departed Lawson, so I have my suspicions, but maybe you'll surprise me."

"You won't be surprised, I assure you," he muttered, avoiding her eyes.

"Well then, since you're so eager to save your poor lover-boy pain, how about we have you two switch places?" Nikolaj stared at her, aghast, the implications of her words sinking in.

"And if I don't comply?"

Abaddon shrugged. "I'm a demon of my word, Crowley. You don't comply, Nikolaj gets sent back through to become a proper demon, and you get re-assigned. I'd suspect that your chances of landing so soft again are rather slim."

Crowley closed his eyes, struggling to think of any other way out of this mess. He could never risk Nikolaj's safety, and it was true that any other advocate would never be as kind or understanding. This was going to end exactly how she wanted it to. "Deal."

"Crowley, don't, I--" Nikolaj was cut of as Abaddon struck him across the face with her crop.

"Quiet, honey. The adults are talking." She looked back at Crowley. "Good," she said, snapping her fingers. "Get him down," she instructed her demons.

Once he was unchained, Nikolaj sunk to the ground in a heap, first looking hopefully over at Crowley, then back down at the ground when the harbinger didn't meet his eyes.

"Up," Abaddon ordered. When he didn't comply fast enough she snapped the crop across where the whip had struck and finally stood, whimpering and clutching at his wounds. "Both of you, over by the table," she ordered.

Crowley complied silently, avoiding eye contact with Nikolaj. He could see the fear racing through the advocate. He wanted to reassure him, to give him some sort of hope. But even in that moment, he felt himself losing any sense of the word.

As Nikolaj followed suit, he reached out, his fingertips touching Crowley's. He jerked them away as Abaddon came up behind him, twining her fingers in his hair.

"All right, Nikki," she hissed in his ear. "Get his pants down. You're here to fuck him, not ask him to the prom.”

Crowley winced at her words.

Biting his lip, Nikolaj did as she ordered with shaking hands. "I'm sorry," he whispered to Crowley.

"Yes," Abaddon snapped. "You are. And you, paper-pusher, down on your knees."

Crowley closed his eyes and obeyed, mentally blocking out everything and everyone. He focused solely on breathing.

"Now, Nikki, " she continued, "pants down. Crowley, I think you're going to suck him off until I say otherwise."

Crowley opened his eyes to glare at her. Of course she would want to humiliate him in this way. He rolled his eyes at Nikolaj who was shakily fumbling with his belt.

"I'm sorry," Nikolaj repeated as he finished with his belt and started on unzipping his fly. Abaddon merely rolled her eyes.

"Shut. Up. Nikolaj." He spat out the words with so much disdain. At this precise moment in his life, he didn't care who he was offending or hurting. He just wanted to be done with it.

"I couldn't have said it better myself, thank you, Crowley. Now, put that mouth to better use." Nikolaj flushed again at Abaddon's comment, starting to look down at his feet, then opted at looking over to his left instead.

Crowley gritted his teeth. He roughly grabbed Nikolaj by the hips, hauling him closer. He rolled his eyes at the little yelp the advocate let out.

"Goodness, boys, enough with the foreplay. I'm getting bored over here."

Crowley swore under his breath before cupping Nikolaj firmly. This was going to be an even longer ordeal if the advocate couldn't at least get it up. Crowley gave him a squeeze.

Nikolaj gave a strangled gasp. This had to be, he figured, the most awkward handjob in history. Closing his eyes, he tried to concentrate on something more arousing.

Crowley reduced his harsh grip on Nikolaj's hip and began gently rubbing down his thigh. "Come on, Nikolaj," he whispered.

Looking down, Nikolaj smiled sheepishly, mentally holding himself back from another apology. It was hard to believe that it had just been last night that they'd shared such a passionate time together. He bit his lip and closed his eyes thinking of their bodies intertwined and felt himself stirring.

"That's it, Nik." Crowley sighed in relief as he felt him start to harden in his hand.

Gently, he placed a hand on the harbinger's head. Just as he felt able to relax a fraction, Abaddon's voice interrupted him. "That's not what I meant by putting your mouth to good use and you know it," she chastised.

Crowley glanced up at him with a faint smile and nodded. He slowly inched forward and allowed the tip inside of his mouth.

Nikolaj drew in a sharp breath and shivered. This was hardly the way he'd wanted this to happen, but he couldn't deny that it felt good in the moment.

Crowley moved forward, taking in more. It certainly wasn't as bad as he'd imagined. He was especially enjoying the reactions from his advocate. He swirled his tongue around him, waiting to see what it would do. Involuntarily jerking his hips, Nikolaj let out a startled noise at Crowley's attentions.

Watching the scene, Abaddon tilted her head to one side, thinking. "You know," she said, coming up behind Crowley and taking a handful of his hair, "I'm not sure how I feel about you two enjoying this," she growled, forcing him further down on Nikolaj's cock.

Crowley choked instantly, and his eyes began to water. He pushed back as hard as he could from Nikolaj, but her grip was unbreakable.

Nikolaj started to back up, but a ferocious look from Abaddon promised something even worse if he did. Some small, hysterical part of his mind pointed out that this was clearly the worst blowjob ever, and he found himself almost giggling at the horrifying absurdity of it all. After forcing Crowley's head back and forth a few more times, she tossed him to the ground in disgust.

Crowley gasped and sputtered, trying to regain breath. He glanced at Nikolaj and gave him a small smirk. "Not exactly how you pictured it, sunshine?"

Almost unable to contain his hysterical laughter, Nikolaj shook his head and looked away. Scowling furiously, Abaddon grabbed him by the jaw and wrenched his face back to hers. "Something funny?" she asked, her voice frostily calm. 

Blanching further, Nikolaj shook his head and lowered his gaze. "No, my queen," he muttered. 

"Good, because I'm thinking less humor and more fucking."

Crowley's face fell at her words. He felt a sudden chill slowly make its way down his spine. He glanced nervously between the two.

Still keeping her hold on Nikolaj, she made him look her in the eye. "Now, make him bend over the table." He paused, looking troubled, started to shift in her grip. "No, use your words, sunshine," she sneered. 

The advocate winced, but cleared his throat, "Crowley--" 

"I said make him. Use that fucking bracelet I gave you and make him, or I swear you're both getting hot pokers up the ass!" the queen growled.

Crowley winced as Nikolaj said his name. He may have agreed to this arrangement, but no part of him was prepared for it.

Clenching his hands into fists, Nikolaj started again. "Crowley... bend over the table," he said, feeling the power of the bracelet activate.

Crowley felt a sharp stab of pain shoot through him, and he shakily lifted himself off the floor. The pain was slowly subsiding but still lingered faintly. He stared at the table, and the fear washed over him again. He whimpered as quietly as possible as the pain started to rise again. He could feel their eyes on him as he finally approached the table. He turned his face away from them as he slowly bent over the table.

"Good boy, sunshine," Abaddon said. She turned and smirked. "Now," she said, her voice going to a hiss, "have him beg you to fuck him. Hard. Have him beg like a fucking whore for it."

Nikolaj felt something inside himself crumble at her words. How could order this, follow through with this?

"Fine," Abaddon said, releasing him and turning her back. "Leave. You don't have to be a part of this. Just remember one thing," she said, looking over her shoulder. "If you leave this room, you leave him in my hands. So choose wisely." The advocate swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and repeated Abaddon's order.

The order came like a slap to the face, and the pain was again overpowering him. He wanted to die, right in that moment. Why wouldn't she just let him die? It almost seemed a better idea to bite off his own tongue than to shame himself with those words. "Please..." It seemed only slightly louder than a whisper, but his pride was standing in the way yet again.

Nikolaj shut his eyes and took a deep breath, then looked sideways at Abaddon. "That doesn't sound very whorish to me," she said, striking Crowley across the ass with her crop. "Did it to you?" she asked the advocate, cocking her head to one side.

Crowley shuddered at the sting and tried desperately to put his pride aside. "Please, Nikolaj... please fuck me." The words left a terrible taste in his mouth, but he hoped they would suffice.

The queen looked over at Nikolaj, who turned away from her, biting his lip until he could taste blood. "Please," he asked her, his voice a whisper. 

"What was that?" 

"Please," he repeated, looking at her as his voice broke. "Just let it be enough. He's trying. You know he's trying. You know it hurts him, and you know you've won. Please." He dropped to one knee and looked up at her pleadingly. "Please," he repeated one last time, looking at the floor, "my queen." 

She paused, looking from one of them to the other, then shrugged. "I suppose it will do. Now," she said, giving the advocate a stinging strike to the face, "stand up and give him what he asked for."

Crowley tensed as he glanced over to see Nikolaj making his way towards him. Taking Crowley by the hips, Nikolaj closed his eyes again, trying desperately to recall last night and thus something more arousing than their current predicament.

Crowley couldn't stop himself from flinching as he felt Nikolaj against him. His breaths quickened, and he glanced around the room nervously. His breath stopped altogether as Abaddon came into his view.

Putting one hand on Crowley's shoulder, he leaned in for a moment and whispered, "Just breathe, okay. I know that it's tough, but it'll help."

"Just get it over with," he growled, glaring at Abaddon with as much hate as he could muster.

Abaddon, for her part gave Crowley a small wave and Nikolaj a pointed look. Taking yet another deep breath, he gave his harbinger a quick squeeze on the shoulder and lined himself up with Crowley's ass, hoping that the miserable blowjob had provided enough lubrication.

Crowley clawed at the table as he felt the beginning of the intrusion. He tried hard to focus on the table instead of Abaddon's insufferable gin. "Just breathe." He replayed Nikolaj's words again and again in his head.

Nikolaj tried to be as gentle as possible, considering the circumstances, and hoped that Crowley wasn't having too hard a time of it. And then there was that entirely inappropriate part of him in the back of his mind that couldn't help but comment that this felt amazing. 

The entire ordeal wasn't nearly as awful as it could be. Well, until Abaddon said, "Make him look at me, sunshine." Pausing for a moment, the advocate grit his teeth and repeated the order.

Crowley gasped loudly with each slow thrust.Through his pained grunts and quiet whimpers, the pain reared its ugly head yet again. Crowley immediately came face to face with Abaddon and sighed as the pain left him.

She smiled and, her eyes never leaving Crowley's, said, "Time to pick up the pace, I think." Crowley looked at in her in panic and shook his head frantically.

Giving Crowley's hip what he hoped was a reassuring squeeze, Nikolaj picked up the pace slightly.

Crowley couldn't say for sure what was worse, the feeling of being torn apart or being forced to keep eye contact with her. The one thing he felt more than anything was the shame burning through him. Each gasp or whimper he made was followed by soft laughter from Abaddon. At that moment, he wished that she would just burn his eyes out so that he'd never have to look upon her again.

"So," Abaddon said, glancing briefly down at her nails, "as entertaining as the two of you are, I do have other things to do. So I'm going to give you an end goal, and then you can run off home. How does that sound?"

Crowley quickly nodded his head at her proposal. He would give anything for this to be over.

"You have to come, the both of you," she said with a smirk. "After the good time I've shown you, I expect nothing less."

"I... can't," he grunted through gritted teeth. There wasn't a thing in the world that could make him come, especially not in his current situation.

She shrugged. "That's the deal." Nikolaj blushed at the thought, though he wasn't sure if it was the idea, or the fact that his body felt close already.

"I can't!" The broken cry was all he could manage. He wouldn't be able to do this on his own.

Knowing there was no fighting it, Nikolaj leaned forward and took Crowley's cock in his hand. "Come on," he murmured. "Just this, and then we go home."

Crowley blushed hard as a moan escaped him, and his hips bucked involuntarily against Nikolaj. He didn't want to take pleasure in this, but his hand around him felt so good. "Please, Nikolaj..."

Upping his pace slightly, Nikolaj started stroking Crowley, first gently, then moving into long, firm strokes. He grit his teeth only hoping that he could contain himself long enough for the both of them to finish.

Crowley couldn't hold back the breathy moans escaping him as Nikolaj continued. He could feel the pressure slowly building. "So... close," he whispered.

He could sense Crowley's growing, if reluctant, arousal. They might just get out of this alive yet. Tightening his grip on the other demon's manhood, he leaned in close.

"Are you going to come for me?"

Crowley gasped as the grip on him tightened. He despised the grin that grew further on Abaddon's face, but Nikolaj's words were helping. "Yes!" he whined, feeling the pressure about to break.

It was shameful, terrible really, the fact that Nikolaj couldn't hold it back any long. Shuddering, gasping, he nearly collapsed as the orgasm wracked his body.

Crowley finally made himself give in, the intensity nearly making him pass out. His body trembled wildly as he tried to ride out the last of it. He laid his head against the table as he tried to catch his breath. Everything around him was spinning.

Watching the two, Abaddon cocked her head to the side, then shook her head.

"Well that was... inspiring," she said, her voice heavy with irony. "Now," she continued, moving forward to tip Crowley's chin up, "what have we learned today?"

Crowley felt tears escaping at the thought of enduring anymore humiliation, but he refused to put Nikolaj through anything she might have planned. "Not to... disobey you," he sobbed quietly, "my queen."

She smiled, looking almost disappointed.

"That's right. And now," she said, giving Crowley a shove that sent both he and Nikolaj sprawling, "you two should scurry along before I change my mind." She narrowed her eyes. "Because you got off easy this time. Remember that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stepping through the door didn't bring any comfort or ease. It felt almost difficult to breath, like the walls were closing in on him. Crowley glanced nervously around the apartment, almost if expecting something to attack him. He could feel a constant pain with each step he took forward, serving as a painful reminder.

"You have first dibs on the shower," Nikolaj mumbled, managing to make his way to the couch to curl up with a pillow. He had no idea how to handle this, how to make it better. Could it get better?

Crowley flinched at the sound of his voice. He shook his head, trying to regain somewhat of his composure. He certainly wasn't going to argue with him about taking a shower first. As he closed the bathroom door behind him and stripped off his clothing, he glanced at the mirror for a moment. Crowley could barely recognize himself anymore. It was hard to believe just how far he had fallen.

By the time Nikolaj heard the shower stop he was firmly ensconced on the couch, wrapped in two blankets and with the bottle of scotch beside him, uncapped.

After a while, Crowley emerged from the bathroom, feeling somewhat less of a nervous wreck. He spied Nikolaj on the couch, bundled and drinking by himself. He thought about the possibility of joining him, but the need to stay away was too strong for him. Crowley hurried into the bedroom, crawling into bed to be alone with his thoughts.

The advocate glanced over as Crowley left the room, then sighed at looked down at his glass. He wasn't sure whether or not he was hurt or grateful that the other demon hadn't decided to join him. Either way, he wasn't feeling quite drunk enough, and so he poured himself another double.

Crowley tossed and turned, his mind racing back and forth from one tragedy to the next. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he needed Nikolaj. No one had ever treated him as fairly or as well. No one had ever loved him in a way that Nikolaj did. He had given Crowley an opportunity that no one had before, an opportunity to be loved. Though the words might never leave his mouth, Nikolaj made him feel whole.

Downing his drink, Nikolaj made his unsteady way to the shower and turned the water on as hot as he could stand. Standing under the scalding water, he scrubbed his skin nearly raw in his fruitless attempt to scrub away the day's memories. Had he done the right thing? Had there even been a right thing to do? He wasn't sure, but abusing the one you cared for certainly didn't feel like the right answer.

Once he'd finally run out of hot water, Nikolaj reluctantly pulled on a pair of sleep pants and made for the couch. Things were going to be awkward enough without trying to sleep together.

Crowley eventually fell into a most troubled sleep. Images flashed behind his eyelids. He could hear her degrading him, cutting through him. He could hear Nikolaj begging for mercy, begging her to let him go. Crowley could see him so clearly in his dreams. He reached out, trying to save Nikolaj from the horrors surrounding him. It almost felt like relief as he tore his advocate away from the darkness. It seemed as though everything was back just the way it was, but the advocate's hands closed around his throat suddenly proved otherwise.

Nikolaj hadn't been sleeping soundly in the first place, so the cries from the bedroom woke him immediately. He tried to get up off the couch, failed, fell off instead and cracked his head on the coffee table. Blinking away the stars in his vision, the demon hauled himself to his feet and made for the bed to lay a hand on the thrashing Crowley's shoulder.

Crowley's opened his eyes the instant he felt a hand on him. He frantically crawled back against the headboard, panting uncontrollably. "Don't hurt me," he whispered almost too quietly to hear.

Nikolaj blinked."I would never--" No, that was hardly true. "I’m-I'm not going to hurt you," he finally said, torn between his desire to keep his distance and to wrap the other demon in a hug.

Crowley relaxed his shoulders, remembering who he was dealing with. "I-I'm sorry," he exhaled. "It was just another nightmare."

Giving a half-smile of relief, Nikolaj shook his head. "It's fine. Can I get you anything? A drink, maybe?"

Crowley nodded, giving his best attempt at a smile. To his surprise, he felt the panic rise again as Nikolaj left the room. It was becoming even more evident just how much comfort he brought Crowley.

Returning a few minutes later with two glasses, the advocate tentatively sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I wasn't sure what you wanted, so I brought water and booze."

"Thank you," Crowley murmured, taking the glass of scotch. The drink was exactly what he needed. His nerves were slowly starting to calm. He chanced a glance at Nikolaj who seemed just as conflicted as himself.

After staring into the water for a long moment, Nikolaj sat it down on the bedstand with a sharp thunk."We need to get you out of here," he said simply.

Crowley couldn't agree more. "I know. Getting out is the easy part, but getting back may take some time," he explained, downing the rest of the drink. "All I need is a phone, and I'll be well on my way to taking back the throne."

"Hm, well that'd require going topside again, but do you think she's going to send us back out after all of that?"

"I think she'll be convinced enough for now that we've learned our lesson and allow us to return only for good reason. We can easily come up with some sort of excuse."

"Something tells me that sleepwear is not going to be adequate this time," Nikolaj said, making a go at humor. "But it's been awhile since we've had a mission, and I doubt she's going to want to give us much time off."

"So," he exhaled, "diving in head first into a job it is."

"I can't think of a better way to stay under the radar, personally."

"Fine. We'll leave in the morning," he decided, giving Nikolaj a nod.

"Sounds good." He started to stand. "Anything else I can get you before I head back to the living room?"

Crowley's eyes widened at the mention of Nikolaj leaving the room again. "Don't," he whispered.

Nikolaj sat back down. "Are you sure? I mean... I'd understand if you didn't want to be around me after--after what happened."

"Please." Crowley winced at the thought of what had occurred between them, but he still didn't want him to leave.

The weight in Nikolaj's stomach lifted a fraction. "Scoot over, then."

Crowley moved over to the other side of the bed, feeling instant relief the moment Nikolaj was next to him. "Thank you... Nik."

Snuggling against the other demon, he pulled the covers up over them both. "Any time."


End file.
